Say my name, Say my name

Destiny’s Child has a song by this title.  And I think the song has something to do with a boyfriend not calling his girl by her name nor is he calling her baby like he used to, and she is upset thinking he is cheating or something. I am not an expert on music, especially the lyrics.  But what I do know is that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language as Dale Carnegie states in his 30 Human Relation principles.

I found this to be true in my life as well.  If I go to the grocery and I use the cashiers name, they act differently. They smile, they are courteous. Also, if I am at a restaurant and I make it a point to have a conversation with the server and I use their name over and over throughout our interactions over the course of the meal, I get better service. When I remember and use a person’s name that I met months or even years ago, it makes a huge impression on them.

In all of these interactions by using and remembering a person’s name, I am telling them that they are important and that I do care about them.  In society today, we need more of these kinds of interactions.

How often do we grow through the day and say hey, you, we, them, or just deliberately not use a person’s name because we didn’t take the time to ask them their name and remember it.

So here is a quick guide to remembering a person’s name.

1.  Ask.

Yes! Take the time to ask a person their name.  I prefer servers to have a name tag on, because I can start using it immediately.  But if they don’t have one, just ask them their name.

2.  Once you ask it, remember it. 

I prefer the old method of repetition.  Once a person tells me their name, I say it 10 times in my head. 90% of the time this works.  I also will write it down.

3.  Rhyme/features

Association.  There are multiple ways of doing this, but I am kind of weird in that I like to use a rhyming word that just makes sense with their name.  There are certain words that we all have a natural proclivity to tying to another word, usually because they rhyme with each other.  Watch Family Feud and you will see that they ask this question a lot.  What is a word that rhymes with ______?  And usually the contestants get most of the answers correct. You also associate a person with physical impressions.  Like Fred has a big head. Or short person and think of a word that will allow you to remember their name tied with their height. I like to use a MIC with people’s name that are Mike.  Seems goofy, but it works.  I just picture a big microphone and them saying something in it, then it is ingrained in my head.

Some of you are saying this seems like a lot of work!  Is it really?  Secondly, how much do you care about having better relationships, making more money, and showing someone else that you care enough to remember their name?

Brian Willett


Genuine Appreciation

Most of you who read this blog know that I am certified trainer through Dale Carnegie Training.  Dale Carnegie is 102 year old training company founded by Dale Carnegie and the foundations of all of the training courses are centered around the 30 Human Relation Principles.

As a trainer I continue to see this lesson, this nugget, over and over again.  I am currently conducting an 8 week Sales Course.  During these 8 weeks we teach a five step sales process.  The typical participants in this course can vary from people who are just starting their sales career or seasoned veterans with 40 years of experience.  So you can say it can be a challenging course to tailor to meet everyones needs.

Each week there are a number of contests and awards that are voted on by the participants in the class.  Dale Carnegie Training is all application based.  Meaning each week in class we teach a new concept and then the participants are asked to apply those concepts over the next week and come back in the following week and tell the class how they applied those concepts and the results.  This is what makes the course so unique, is that is all application based.  So we facilitate a format where all participants tell everyone how they have applied the concepts and then the class participants vote on the participant who applied the concepts the best. The votes by the class are counted up and awards are handed out and the end of the class that night.  It is one of my favorite parts of this course and the class, handing out the awards.

In the Sales Course, the Lead Trainer and Course Coaches have something called a Recognition Award that we hand out every week.  The Recognition Award is an award for a person who we feel added a lot of value to the course that day, who is working hard, and going above and beyond to learn the material.  As I mentioned before we have varying levels of sales people in the course.

I recently recognized a person in this course with the Recognition Award.   I believe this person was surprised to say the least.  I typically just say what the award is for and hand it out to that individual.  This time I gave a little pre-amble on why we chose this person.  It really came down to this:  This person was the most skeptic in the beginning.  You get that in training sometimes, people are sent to training because their boss said so.  Even with their skepticism, they come back each and every week and they work hard in the class to learn and apply the material.  Maybe it isn’t perfect they way they apply it.  It doesn’t matter to me, the fact that they are trying hard each and every week matters to me the most.  We made this persons week with this award.  That is powerful stuff.

Genuine appreciation for others can be done in many ways.  I have the fortunate opportunity to teach this awesome material in a course, but we all have the opportunity to show genuine appreciation for our spouse, our kids, our friends, our colleagues, that person in the other cubicle that drives you nuts sometimes, that neighbor, etc.

I encourage everyone to try to show some genuine appreciation for someone today.  Honestly, I like to be honest with you 🙂 when I show genuine appreciation for others, the feeling I get from doing it and saying it, makes me personally feel better.

Brian Willett

My last 5 book summaries twitter style

Title: The Wisdom of Andrew Carnegie as told to Napoleon Hill; author Napoleon Hill

  • Having a definite purpose in life and pursuing that purpose with self-discipline and hardwork.  The best BOOK for Success I have ever read

Title: Early Rising; author Benjamin Franklin

  • Early to bed, early to rise, will make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. The habit of getting up early leads to more habits for success.

Title: Emotional Intelligence for Sales Success (Connect with customers to get results); author Colleen Stanley

  • Sale organizations should define who their customers are and only pursue those customers with the approach to serve first and sale second

Title: The Victorious Attitude; author Orison Swett Marden

  • You are what you think about, you think you can’t win, you won’t win. You think you can accomplish anything you will accomplish a lot.

Title: The Sales Advantage (How to Get it, Keep It, and sell more than ever); authors J Oliver Crom and Michael Crom (DC Associates)

  • Rapport, Interest, Solution, Motive, Commitment is the 5 step sales process for Sales Success. Processed selling is for sales professionals

These are all great reads and I have many notes, but the summaries are the gist of what I got from the books.

Brian Willett