Can people really change?

This is a question that I have been asked many times by people.  You most likely have a strong opinion on this question as well.  Can people really change?  Especially if they are more experienced (older) and more stuck in their ways.

As a leader for well over twenty years now, a full-time corporate trainer and speaker the last five years. I have come across lots of people in a variety of different environments. I have also studied human behaviors for the last ten years or so.  When I say study, I mean not only through observation, I have been doing that for my entire life.  I mean studying the research that has been conducted and collected by some of the experts in the field of human behavior since the beginning of time.

One of the best books I have read on the study of human behavior, and specifically on the question of whether or not humans can Change, is a book titled Change or Die, The Three Keys to Change at work and in Life.  

In the book, the authors look at research conducted by doctors on people who were diagnosed with severe heart issues.  Some of the participants in the study even have had open heart surgery to other heart related surgeries.  The question was simple.  When faced with death, would the patients change their behaviors to prevent future heart related issues.

What do you think they found?  Did people change their behaviors?

The study concluded that after one year after the diagnosis, or the surgery, that well over 50% of the patients had stopped taking the medication they were supposed to be taking.  At after two years, well over 90% were back to the same behaviors and lifestyles they had before the surgery or diagnosis.

This example says a lot about change doesn’t it?  It says that even when faced with death, change is very hard. Luckily most of us are not in position at this moment that we have to make a life or death decision, and our willingness to change determines what the outcome will be.

However, many people are in situations where making some changes could greatly impact their career and success. The question is, are they willing to make the changes necessary. As the book would tell you, most people aren’t.  But the book, also shares many stories on where people did make changes and how they did it. And in my business, I see the same thing.

From my observations through meeting thousands of people in my training seminars and courses, I have watched people significantly change to get better outcomes in their life and their business.  But there are some conditions and questions that must be answered for those changes to occur in those people.

First, the person must have a need to make a change.  As my mentor said, we make changes for two reasons.  We are either inspired or desperate.  Obviously, both situations lead to change.  I just prefer to make the changes before I am desperate to have to make the change.

For example: Lets says I am an employee at a company.  I have been there for five years.  I know my business pretty well.  So well, that I don’t listen to feedback very well.  Matter of fact, I dismiss most suggestions people make.  In addition to being dismissive I am kind of known as a jerk that nobody likes to work around.

This person could become inspired to make changes, because they realize the impact they are having on the coworkers around them.  Or they could be sat down by their manager and told how they are perceived, and if they don’t change it they will no longer work there anymore.

In either case, a need has been identified, but the better path is to become aware of the change yourself and start to make shift.

My experience tells me that people who do make changes see the need.

The second piece to change is the want.  Do they want to make the change.  Again, it comes down to motivation.  How motivated are you to want to make the change.  If you are about to lose your job, you may be highly motivated, however, are you sold on the concept?   You could fake it for a while, but eventually it will come out on whether or not you really want to change.

In my observations, the people who really see the need and then really want to change are the ones who can make the changes.  And I know it isn’t that simple.  The environment has to be right, and then the right support has to be there as well, but when the need and the want are strong by the individual, change will occur.

The third piece to making a change is a question the person will ask themselves. Can I change?  The simple answer is, Yes, they can change.  But it is the follow-up question that is more important.  Will I change?  We can all change, it is just whether or not will we change.  These two questions, have to be asked and answered with a yes.

To answer the question I posed at the beginning.  Can people change?  Yes, I whole heartedly believe people can change.  They must answer the four questions above though.

Do they see a need to change, however the need is presented to them.  Either they see the need or someone shows the need to them.  Do they want to change?  And then lastly, do they think they can, and will they do whatever it takes to make the changes. When these four questions are answered, and how they are answered, you will know whether or not someone will make a change.

Once these four questions are answered, and answered correctly, the person is willing to do whatever it takes to make whatever the change is.  Then they must get in to the right system or program to make the changes.  This is where it can get complicated.  What is the best system.  I’ll keep it generic on my suggestions as far as what the right system is.  I will just tell you what I believe the system must include.

First the system, must have a singular focus.  It must be focused on whatever the change the person is trying to make is.

Secondly, it must have daily accountability of some kind, that requires the person who is making the change to have to be accountable to.

Thirdly, they must receive some kind of coaching along the way.

Lastly, it must be at least a year-long process with accountability and follow-up.  This is by far one of the most critical things.  The bottom line is change is hard, we know this.  People would rather die than change, as the book validates.  And this kind of change doesn’t happen over night, it takes at least a year to make sustainable changes to a behavior that we have had for a long time.

I have watched people in my training courses make significant changes in their behaviors over the years.  Whether it is a leader that changes the way they interact with their employees and peers.  Or the sales person that has to change their work behaviors to make more sales.

These people were able to make these changes, because they not only answered the four questions.  They had a need, they wanted to make the change, and the sad they Can and they said that they will.  But they also found the right system, with a singular focus, with daily accountability and coaching, and they were committed to at least a certain period of time to work in the system to make the changes.  They haven’t always been year-long processes, but they were lengthy periods of time.

Here is the question for you.  Can you change?  Are you willing to make a change?

I know the answer to the question.  People can change. Will you?

To your success and your future.

 

 

Spaghetti and Marshmallows and why kindergartners beat CEO’s in this task.

If you had to make a bet on which team could perform a certain task better between a group of kindergartners, or a group of business students amongst some of the top elite schools in the United States and abroad.  Who would you bet on?

Peter Skillman, an engineer, put together a competition to answer this question.  The task was simple.  He assembled groups of four people at several colleges and universities.  Their task was to see who which group could build the tallest possible structure using the following items:

  • twenty pieces of uncooked spaghetti
  • one yard of transparent tape
  • on yard of string
  • one standard size marshmallow

The contest had one rule.  The marshmallow had to be the final thing on top of the tower.

Who did you bet on?

The students took the approach of first tossing ideas back and forth.  They asked questions to each other.  They looked at several different options.  It was very strategic and professional.  They then decided on an approach.  Divided up the tasks and started building.

The kindergartners did something different.  They didnt strategize. They did not analyze anything or generate any ideas, or banter back and forth. Nope they stood amongst each other.  Grabbed the materials and started building.  No plan.  No strategy.  They started putting things together, and as they got in to it.  They would say to each other.  “Lets try this”.  “No, here”.  “Lets put that here.”

So who did you bet that would build the taller structure?

If you bet on the business school students, you are wrong. In dozens of trials, kindergartners built structures that average twenty-six inches tall, while the students from these universities average structure was about ten inches tall.

Teams of kindergartners not only consistently outperformed business school students, but they also conducted these same trials with lawyers and CEO’s.  The lawyers averaged fifteen inch structures and the CEO’s averaged twenty-two inches structures.

So how is it? and Why is it?  That kindergartners could outperform all of these highly educated and skilled groups of people?

The simple answer is that kindergartners:

  • Don’t have any egos.
  • They are not trying to prove their intelligence
  • They are not trying to be in charge.
  • They aren’t scared to speak up because they may be wrong.
  • They are not afraid to say no to each other.
  • They are not trying to adapt to any social norms.

Nope.  The kindergarteners are just looking at a task that they have been asked to do and just doing it.  Although the research doesn’t mention this, but maybe the kindgartners also have a better imagination.  They are not trying to put limits on themselves and say what can’t be done. Instead, they just try to do things.  This by itself leads to better outcomes, because if you aren’t willing to fail, which it doesn’t even cross the minds of these kindergartners, than you will never know what truly could be done.

In today’s world, probably as you are reading this.  You are on your way to work where either you, or someone you will work with today, will be trying to solve a problem.  Instead of trying to decide who is boss.  Or who should be doing this or that.  I would encourage you to instead take the same approach as the kindergartners did in this research and determine what is the best way to do this and forget everything else.

I know this is a hard ask.  But if we would all approach issues at work, or in our own personal lives this way, we would accomplish a lot more.  There would be less tension and conflict amongst our peers and in our own personal relationships.  And we would just be happier altogether.

See if you can approach life-like a kindergartner today and see how it works out for you.

To your success and your future.

You can watch the TED talk on this research here as well.

My top 10 books out of the last 100 I’ve read!

I recently hit another milestone in my learning journey.  I just finished book number four hundred in seven years.  For some of you, that may seem like a small number.  But to me, from where I started, to where I am today, this is a an amazing accomplishment for me.

I have written countless times about the power, the confidence, and the joy that I get from reading.  But if you have not read any of that up until now.  I will say it again.  There is not one other thing that I have decided to do in my life and in my career, that has been more beneficial to my success financially, mentally, and relational, than making the decision to become an avid reader of books.  This one discipline has provided me with so much more in my life.

Become a reader and your life will change.  You can start with the list I have for you here.

Its funny, as I look back over books 300 to 400.  It was really easy to compile this list. Well, the fact that I have a grading and scoring system that I manage and track for all of the books I read makes it pretty easy.  But that alone, isn’t the only reason.

This list came together so easily, because the books on this list were by far and away, just really that good.  I am not sure how many of them were actually best sellers, but all of them had a profound impact on me which is why they made the list.

These books, aren’t necessarily the best written, most sold, most known (which I guess would also mean most sold), the longest, etc. No.  These books, had a profound impact on the way I thought, or provided me some new insight that I could apply that could make me more successful.  That is how they make the list.  They had an impact on me.

Maybe they will have an impact on you. Remember, click the title of the book and the link will take you right to Amazon so you can purchase the audio version or the hardcopy of the book. These books are in no particular order.

  1.  9 Things You simply Must do to Succeed in Love and Life; author Dr. Henry Cloud.
    Dr. Cloud is a phenomenal writer and speaker.  He has several best-selling books.  This book I picked up at a discount rack somewhere.  The reason I put it on the list is because he has two chapters in the book that really were amazing.  One chapter on playing fair and the other chapter on hate.In the hate chapter he discusses the practice of hating in a way that solves problems instead of creating them. Cloud suggests that hating well preserves life and hating poorly destroys life. An integral component of hating well is objectivity, which hates the issue without hating the person.

    In the chapter on Don’t Play Fair he discusses the practice of loving unconditionally. Loving without conditions is unfair and incredibly powerful. Further, the author suggests that loving without conditions is possible only when healthy detachment exists. In summary, undeserved love transforms lives.

  2. The Business of the 21st Century; author Robert Kiyosaki
    If you have lived under a rock the last twenty years or so, you may not be familiar with Robert Kiyosaki.  He is the author of Rich Dad Poor Dad, and created a massive training company around that title as well.  I received this book from someone who was trying to sell me on joining their MLM (Multi Level Marketing) company.  If you don’t know what MLM is, I again, want to tell you to get out from under the rock.Some people call it Direct Marketing.  But it is selling products through a specific brand like a Herbalife, Amway, Beachbody, etc. to name a few of the bigger ones.  The process for MLM is where a person sells the products to people they know in their circles, and then from there they build a team of people doing it.  As you build a team within their organization you earn money from all of the sales the people on your team make, in addition to your own. I digress.

    This book is somewhat of a promotion of this type of business. A business that I personally have no desire to be in.  I don’t have a problem with the business model, I just don’t want to be in it. However, I am thankful for the book.Robert Kiyosaki is really successful and in the book he is promoting the MLM business, but this book has a whole lot of practical advice on why it is important for everybody to start some kind of business.  Whether it is real estate, selling products, or something else. Everyone should be involved in their full time job and a part-time job doing something that could eventually grow into something bigger.

  3. Be Obsessed or Be Average; author Grant Cardone
    Grant Cardone is a best-selling author and one of the top influencers on all social media platforms.  He is everywhere.  He has two primary goals.  First he is a sales trainer and his company sells sales training.  Secondly, he has built a huge company where he owns over 5,000 apartments around the country. The reason this book was so impactful is Grant is probably the best motivator I have ever listened to or read.  He will make you think bigger and differently than you have ever thought before.This book, is somewhat of  continuation of his 10X book. However, you don’t need to have read the 10X book before you read this one. Although I read the hard copy version, I would encourage you to buy the audible or audio version of this book.  Grant has a way of reading his books like no other person can.  He will get you motivated.
  4. Rejection Proof: How to Beat Fear and Become Invincible, author: Jia Jiang
    After I read this book, I immediately was more motivated to go out and do some of the things I was most fearful of.  I picked up the phone and called a CEO that had been putting me off.  I wasn’t scared of the CEO, or at least, I would have told you I wasn’t.  However, what is the worst that can happen.  There is no growth without a little fear, hesitation, and some discomfort, but that is also where the growth and success exists as well.  Read this book and you will learn how to overcome your fear.  This was one of the best books I have read in a long time about sales and it isn’t even a sales book, but it is.
  5. Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter, author: Scott Adams (Dilbert creator).  Scott Adams is the creator of the world-famous comic strip Dilbert. But Adams is not only a cartoonist, but he is a great writer.  Most of his books are around this topic of persuasion and how we can have more influence.  In this book, he talks about why he was one of the first to predict that Donald Trump would win the Presidential election in 2016.  He made this prediction because of Donald Trump’s ability to persuade and convince people.  This book is well written and is truly a lesson on how you can be more persuasive and convincing and grab attention in todays complex and noisy world.
  6. Nudge: Improving Decision about Health, Wealth, and Happiness; Author: Richard Thaler.  This book is about how every day we make choices—about what to buy or eat, about financial investments or our children’s health and education, even about the causes we champion or the planet itself. Unfortunately, we often choose poorly. Nudge is about how we make these choices and how we can make better ones. The authors show that no choice is ever presented to us in a neutral way, and that we are all susceptible to biases that can lead us to make bad decisions. The author’s research show us that when things are presented in a certain way, we can change the buying patterns for people.  These little nuances can help everyone become healthier and even wealthier.  Richard Thaler also won the Nobel Prize in Economics in 2017 for his work around behavioral economics.
  7. Anti Cancer; A new Way of Life; author: David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., Ph. This book chronicles the story about how the author was diagnosed with brain cancer and the steps he took to fight and ultimately beat cancer.  He tells us his story, but also provides the readers his playbook, based on his success and his research, on what we can all do to not only fight cancer, but prevent it.  The biggest thing I learned was that a few changes in my diet could prevent me from ever having to deal with this.
  8. Made to Stick; Why Some Ideas Survive and others Die; authors: Chip and Dan Heath. In typical Heath brothers fashion, this book is peppered with lots of great research and support to back up their claims and the processes they suggest.  Through this process they outline several steps we can all take to come up with and deliver messages that stick with our audience. Whether you are a parent trying to get a message to stick with your child, to a manager trying to get adoption of a new process. This book tells you how to communicate in a way that gets things to stick.
  9. The Thomas Sowell Reader; Author Thomas Sowell.  Sowell is an American economist, turned social theorist, political philosopher, and author. He is currently Senior Fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University. This book is a collection of the authors columns that have been syndicated in Newspapers for the last forty years, and our still being distributed.  Sowell’s opinions on everything from race, religion, politics, to every other hot button topic you hear about everyday is refreshing.  The way he breaks down and communicates in his writings his arguments on all of these topics will challenge you to think about the topic differently, regardless of what side of the argument you are on.  He believes in personal responsibility and that government should not be in our lives as much as they are.  Yes, he would be labeled as a conservative on many of his views.  However, I consider most of his arguments to be just very practical and straightforward.
  10. Steal Like an Artist; 10 Things Nobody Told you about Being Creative; author: Austin Kleon.  This book is the shortest read on the list.  The book is actually really tiny, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t impactful.  The information in the book, the quotes, the ideas the author throws out will really get you thinking about how you can get your creative juices flowing.  In addition, the author reminds you that everything we create is some form of a copy of something else.  Nothing is original.  We all have to start from something.  And he makes you feel good about how you go about creating and developing your material in whatever it is that you do.  This book isn’t only for people who currently do work that must be created, this is for someone who would like to be more creative.  This book will show you how to do it.

I hope you pick up a few of the books that I have recommended here.  When it comes to reading, I have learned that I must seek out other people’s opinions on books and get recommendations.  Most people won’t recommend a bad book.  I won’t, unless I think it will help someone based on whatever it is they are dealing with and working through.

But that is the point, many of the books I recommend and say are my best.  May only have been the best, because of what I was doing at the time I read them.  Of the four hundred books I have read, some of them, if I read them again today, I might be looking at them through a whole different set of eyes based on my perspective now.  And this list could be a totally different list.

My only advice to you is this. Become a reader.  Start finding books or even listening to books.  It will change your life. It has mine.

To your success and your future.

 

Bring the pain and the results will follow.

At the first signs of pain, most people usually quit.  It could be the pain associated with exercising.  The pain of having to cook dinner instead of going out to eat to save money. Or, it could be the pain of finally tackling that project that you have been putting off.

Our ability to endure pain, physical or mental, could be the secret that leads to success or failure in accomplishing our goals.

Karel Gijsbers, a psychologist at the University of Stirling, in Scotland, published an influential paper in the British Journal of Medicine in 1981. Gijsbers along side one of his graduate students, put 30 elite swimmers from the Scotland National team through a series of pain tests and then compared those results to 30 Club Level swimmers and 26 non-athletes.

The protocol for this study involved cutting off the circulation to the subjects arms with a blood-pressure cuff, and then having them clench and unclench their fist once per second. The “Pain Threshold” was defined as the number of contractions needed to produce a sensation that registered as pain rather than merely discomfort. “Pain Tolerance” was quantified as the total number of contractions before the subject gave up.

The first finding was that the pain threshold was essentially the same in all three groups, starting around 50 contractions.  The second time the test was conducted the results were different. The pain tolerance of the National Team swimmers endured an average of 132 contractions before calling it quits.  Compared to the 89 in the club swimmers and 70 in the non-athletes.

Gijsbers remarked that because of the more systematic approach in which the National Team Swimmers exposed themselves to pain during training, that they had created or harnessed brain chemicals like endorphins, or perhaps simply thanks to psychological coping that allowed them to endure more pain.   He also said that “pain” can be strangely motivating or even required to the highly motivated athlete.

Gijsbers conducted these studies three more times throughout the year and found that the National Team Swimmers scored highest in June, which is their peak racing season; lowest in October, which is their off-season, and somewhere in the middle during their regular training period in March.

These seasonal fluctuations suggest that pain tolerance is linked to the type of training that the swimmers were doing during each of these testing periods. During the season, they were pushing their limits every single day, which provided them more tolerance based on their daily training schedules.

Similar studies have been done since Gijsbers studies in 1981, and they have all concluded with similar results.

So if pain is required to have more success, how do I train myself to be able to endure more pain?

For the purposes of this writing, I will stick to the topic of just exposing yourself to more pain.  To be able to endure more pain, you have to set a goal a reason for that goal.  I have covered those topics extensively in other writings.  Email me if you are interested in reading those bwillett555@gmail.com

In a recent book I read, it discussed the fact that when it comes to exercise that most of us will quit long before we ever run into any possibility of really hurting ourselves.  Our body is hardwired to shut down well before we could possibly ever get in to serious trouble of actually dying.  But if you have ever worked out before, really really hard, you may feel like you are about to die while you are in the moment.

At this peak of exhaustion and mental anguish is when most people quit. They don’t push themselves through the pain, because most of us are don’t want to feel this kind of pain.  However, when you are feeling this pain it is when you are actually burning the most calories and optimizing the benefits from the actual exercise you are doing.

I’m not suggesting you go forever, I’m just suggesting you may want to push yourself during this pain for a certain amount of time, and then each workout after you continue to push yourself to stay in that zone longer and longer.  This is where you will start to see more results and growth.

What about the pain associated with eating dinner at home versus going out to eat.  I have been there before, I was in debt and spending close to thirty to thirty-five percent of my monthly income on going out to eat.  If you are spending that much money on eating out and you add-on top of that twenty-five percent in housing costs, and then all of your other expenses, including the debts.  You can see real quickly that you won’t make much progress on eliminating your debts.

My suggestion is to first figure out how much you are spending and on which days do you typically do this.  I am sure you will see a pattern.  Then decide which days or day you will pick to stop doing this. It could be on Mondays or Saturdays.  It depends on your pattern. It could be on the days you attend class or your kid plays sports.

Now that you have the day picked out, decide what you will do instead. Will it be cooking at home that day.  Or should you pick another day to make additional food, so you can eat leftovers on the day you pick?   Seems like a lot of work doesn’t it?  It is so much easier to just eat out instead.

Yes it sure does. But this isn’t getting you any closer to your goals of paying off debt.  Your ability to endure the pain is what will either help or hurt you in achieving this goal.

I am quite sure that if you are reading this your goal is not to be an Olympic Swimmer.  However, I do think you are like most people and want to find a way to get ahead and move you and your family closer to your ideal situation financially as well as lifestyle wise.

To do this, it is going to require you to do things that you haven’t been able to do before successfully.  As my mentor told me, “To get what you have never had, you have to do something that you have never done.”  Maybe this is you as well.

Enduring pain and making sacrifices is not a forever thing.  It is only for a season, a period of time, it isn’t going to last forever.  If you endure some pain during a workout for three months or so, each day enduring more and more.  Eventually you will hit your goal.  If you don’t eat out for a period of time, you will eventually get to a better financial position than you are currently. Believe me, I have lived this personally.

So the question is are you willing to endure some pain to accomplish your goals?

To your success and your future.

If you need some help with this contact me at bwillett555@gmail.com I am currently meeting with clients to help them achieve the things they want in their life and in their career.

Excerpts for this blog taken from the book Endure; Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance written by Alex Hutchinson. 

 

 

 

 

For 35 years, all of my decisions came down to these two words. Not now!

The great Napoleon Hill said: “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” 

The first question you have to ask yourself is:

Do you believe this statement/quote is true?  If you do or you don’t I would encourage you to continue reading.

Through out my life.  I have had to decide to do one thing or the other.  All decisions were an “either”, “or”.

Here are a few of my examples:

  • I had to decide that if I wanted to buy a house.  Than I would have to get rid of my car payment.
  • I had to decide if I wanted to put in more hours at work, than I wouldn’t workout as regular.
  • Growing up, my parents would tell me that if I wanted these really expensive shoes than I couldn’t get as many clothes.  Because there was only so much money.
  • I had to decide instead of getting the new car with all of the bells and whistles, I would have to just get the older version or the newer one with less bells and whistles.
  • I had to decide if I wanted to go away for the weekend, than I would have to give up eating out dinner for several months in advance.
  • I had to decide if I wanted to take a vacation, than I would set aside a certain amount of money for a period of time, before taking that vacation.
  • I had to decide while on the vacation, between eating out for dinner or cooking something back in the hotel room.

I could come up with numerous examples of where my decisions throughout my life came down to these two words “either”, “or”.  For 35 plus years I had to live with these decisions.

It wasn’t until I made a decision, and I am recommitting to this decision right now.  That I no longer want to make “either” “or” decisions.  I instead want to make decisions on “all” or “everything”.

I want the car that I want, not the one that I can get. I want the vacation that I want.  Not the one I can get. I want the, “you name it that I want, not the one that I can get.”

I no longer want to say, I can “either do this”, “or do that”.  I want it all and I want everything that I decide that I want.

When you spend your entire life making decisions this way, it is hard to change your mentality and your decision making overnight.  But if you commit to seeking abundance in your life and change your thinking, you can change your life.

I am coaching hundreds of people right now in the area of changing their approach in how they do everything in their life and in their business. If you think this is something you want to do lets connect and see how my program might be able to help you. email me at bwillett555@gmail.com

Remember, you are capable of accomplishing anything you decide to commit to. You just have to make a decision and commit.

To your success and your future.

Why Power only exists in Truth

I am sure you have talked to someone before about a job, a relationship, or some other situation, where that person was receiving less than they deserve.  And what that usually means is that you, as their friend, colleague, or family member, believe that they are doing more and giving more to that relationship, job, etc., than the other party is giving.

But what if that wasn’t true.  What if there was more that the person could give.  What if this person was you and not someone else that was feeling this way. And you kept telling yourself that you are giving everything and not getting anything in return.  You are not getting what you deserve.

Everyday I work and see people that feel this way.  They believe that they are owed more. They believe that they deserve more.  They believe that they have done everything that they could do to improve their situation, but none of it has worked.  The relationship is still bad.  The pay on the job still sucks.  They didn’t receive the promotion.  They didn’t get the next assignment.

If you feel this way, or no someone who does.  I want to share this with you, because someone shared it with me, and it changed my life.  First of all, the market pays for the value that you or someone else brings to it.

My mentor told me this story once about how he went to his mentor and told him that the job wasn’t paying enough.  His mentor asked him this “Are there other people at your place of employment who make more money than you do?”  The answer was yes from my mentor.  Than his mentor shared these very remarkable words with him.

He said “Than it isn’t the company, it is the value you are bringing to the company. If you want to change your pay, you have to increase your value.”

The only way any of us can get paid more on the job, is to increase the value we bring to the job.  If you are a manager and you can manage a group of six or seven people to perform a job.  The company will pay you more.  If you can learn how to manage six or seven managers, which is a different skillset, than they will pay you even more money.

If you are a customer service representative and you are really good at taking calls on problems and solving those problems. The company will pay you a certain dollar amount for that.  But if you can not only take those calls, but you can train other people on how to do it as well, they will pay you more money.

Most companies have more money that they can pay you.  However, you just have to figure out a way to show them that you are worth more than what they are paying you.  Most people spend their time complaining about what they deserve instead of showing how they are worth more.  Stop talking and start showing.

One of the things most of us are in dire need of in our lives, is someone who can speak truth in to us.  Tell us something that we don’t really want to hear.  You may have heard the old saying that there is “Power in Truth”.  Why do you think that saying exists?

Because, until you hear the truth, you don’t have the power to change anything.  If you want to change your situation, you have to first understand your reality and the truth of where you really are.  Finding someone to give you this truth is very hard.  It usually requires someone who isn’t associated with you in any way to come in to your life and  help you assess where you are and then provide you the truth.

If you want to get to a different place, you have to understand where you are.  Not just your belief on where you are, but the actual truth on where you are.  Most of us don’t have the people in our lives that can or will provide us this truth.

If you are a person who wants truth and wants more than you currently have, than I would encourage you to reach out to me, and if it isn’t me, than someone else that can provide you the truth you need to hear.

email me at bwillett555@gmail.com for more insight and possibly partnering together.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

Implementing this one activity every other day has been a game changer for my life.

There are certain things in life that all of us must do every single day.  Things like brush our teeth, eat, drink water, and… If you have children you have to make sure they do these same things everyday as well.

Now you could say that you have to go to work every single day, but that isn’t true.  Most of us have weekends off.  And if you don’t, you probably have vacation time. So what are the things we have to do every single day?  There probably aren’t very many things we must do every single day unless we choose to do it.

About a year and a half ago, I learned from one of my mentors to do this one thing every single day.  And it has been a game changer for me. My mentor said that I should write down my 10-15 biggest goals every single day.  Yes.  He said I should do this every single day.  He said he does it as soon as he wakes up and he does it again before he goes to bed.

Maybe he does or maybe he doesn’t.  He is wildly successful, so I am not going to question him. I like to try to do what really successful people do, so I gave it a shot.

First of all, for me, I have found that I don’t do it every day.  Hence why the title of the blog isn’t, “Implementing this one activity everyday has been a game changer for my life.”

There is really no reason why I can’t, but looking in my journal over the last year, I just didn’t.  I just looked at my journal and I counted 298 days that I wrote down my goals.  Not bad, but I could do better. Again, doing anything for 365 days a year is hard.  I can do better though.

I have been a very aggressive goal setter for the last ten or so years of my life.  I have accomplished so many things that I would have never dreamed of accomplishing, just because I wrote it down and made a plan to accomplish it.  I consider myself to be in the top one percent of goal setters and goal accomplishers.  This consideration is purely from my observations of hundreds, if not thousands of people, that I interact with in my business who don’t set goals. It is not a common thing.

All of this to say, that I know a lot about goal setting and I have helped a lot of people accomplish more in their life by becoming better goal setters.

So when my mentor told me to write down my goals every single day, I thought that this was a silly idea.  I said how will this help me.  I am already doing a really good job at setting and accomplishing goals.  I have a document that I write down all of my current year goals on, and included on that document is some long-range goals as well.  They all kind of go together.

But because of his challenge to me, I decided to take on this challenge of writing them down every day.  And in my case, I did it the last 298 days of my life. I didn’t write down every single goal.  I just wrote down the 10 to 15 bigger goals that I have in my life.

For example:  I turn forty next year.  I am not worried about the forty number, but one of my goals is to be in the best shape of my life, backed up with test results, when I turn forty next year. That is one of the goals I have written down the last 298 days of my life.

Another one is “I own 100 paid for rental properties”.  Yes a big goal.  I currently have five.

What I have learned from writing these goals down for the last 298 days, is that they are always in my head, they never leave.  I am reminding myself about them every day. This has helped me put in place certain habits and other things that are helping me work toward these goals.  Id dint have this before.  This has been really beneficial for me to doing what I need to do, every day to get closer to accomplishing the goals.

Most people never accomplish much because they never commit to accomplishing anything. That is why writing down your goals is co critical. But I have learned that writing them down every single day reminds me to do the things that I need to do so I can accomplish the goals.

This is not a to do list.  This is a reminder of the bigger things you want in your life. These are the big goals.  These bigger goals is where you get your motivation.

I can’t get too excited about running six miles a day, but I can get excited and motivated about being in the best shape of my life at the age of forty.

It is hard to get excited about making another sales call, or taking on a client that I know will be a pain in the ass.  But I know that I have to do it, to generate the money so I can get to my 100 rental properties.

These 10 or 15 goals set your task list for the day automatically.  The only difference is, the task list isn’t that exciting, but the goals list is.

As you can tell, I have some room for improvement in this area as well, but I want to challenge you to try this.  I consider myself to be a pretty self motivated person, but after doing this the last 298 days, I am even more motivated and committed to my goals and to my success and this has pushed me to do even more every day to get closer to accomplishing them.

If you want more information about my process, email me at bwillett555@gmail.com

To your success and your future.

Check out this blog for more information about the value of writing down your goals.

A new season

Over 100 million people watched the Super Bowl this past Sunday.  The New England Patriots were the heavy favorite and rightfully so going into the game.  But, unless you have been hiding the last seventy-two hours you know that they didn’t win. They were beaten by the underdog, the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now, I am not a NFL Football expert. However, the New England Patriots are considered to be one of the best teams ever, because of their long time coach Bill Belichick and their quarterback Tom Brady.  There has been a lot of speculation on whether they both will return next year to play and coach another year.  Or will they retire.  I believe all of the experts agree that Tom Brady will most likely be back in uniform next year, but most of them are unsure about whether or not Bill Belichick will be back as the head coach.

Regardless if they retire or not, they both have now moved on from the last season.  Last season ended on Sunday night after losing the Super Bowl.  For the last nineteen years,  with their eight Super Bowl appearances, five Super Bowl wins, and the countless other victories and accomplishments.  They both know that for them to have that sustained success, that they can’t dwell in the past too long, and they must move on to the next season and start preparing for the next season.

The sad part about a season ending is the fact that all of the hard work, sacrifice, and wins don’t carry any weight into the new season.  Well, at least not the victories.  For them to have success in the next season, they have to do it all over again.  They have to prepare, they have to be disciplined, and they have to sacrifice all over again.  And they have to start all over at Zero Wins and Zero Losses.

Even though starting fresh and new can be challenging and daunting, when you think about it.  It can also be exciting and exhilarating.  The fact that you get to start all over, in many cases with new team mates and new opponents.  They both will be another year wiser and more experienced.

In the NFL they have no choice.  A season only lasts so long.  I know the regular season is seventeen weeks, and when you include the playoffs, I believe the entire season, including the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, it is like twenty-three weeks.  The season has an end date.  Once it is over, it’s over.

Life for the rest of us is different.  It doesn’t necessarily have end dates for our seasons.  It isn’t that definitive.   Now, there may be a season where you work someone where for a period of time and then decide to move on to another employer.  Or there may be a season where you are living your life a certain way, like maybe when you were single or in your twenties.  Or you may be in a relationship with a person for a period of time, and then that relationship ends.  All of these situations could have been a season for you.

But in most cases, our lives are not that seasonal and defined with a begin date and end date.  When we need to be our best and when we can slack off some.  Nope instead we are left to ourselves to determine when a season begins and when a season should end. And from my experience there have been many times where I may have stayed within a season too long.

Here is my challenge for you.  Do you know what season you are in?  Have you been in your current season too long?  Maybe you have been complaining about this job for the last several years, but you haven’t taken the next steps to move on.

Maybe you have been in that relationship that isn’t going anywhere too long.  You just keep breaking up and getting back together.  Or maybe you have been together, but the relationship is not growing.  Maybe you have been thinking about going back to school, but you just haven’t pulled the trigger.

Regardless of where you are in life right now, it isn’t always going to be that way.  But you have the ability and the right to make it whatever you want.  You just have to decide to make a change and start a new season for your life.

Tom Brady , Bill Belichick, and the New England Patriots season ended on Sunday.  But they know the next one starts soon and they are already preparing for it.  In your case, you have to decide when your next season will start?  Are you ready for it?  Or are you going to ride this season out to the end?

To your success and your future.

 

The two best measurements on determining what you think is important

Years ago when I was single I would eat out a lot, even more so than I do as a married man now, I think. Ha Ha.  I can remember one year I was looking at my bank account online.

My bank had one of those software systems that put all of my spending into categories, and it gave me a pie chart of how and where I spent my money. Under the food category it would actually break down by name the different restaurants where I spent my money.

I can remember looking at this chart and thinking to myself. WOW.  I spent a lot of money at this restaurant, and that restaurant, they should be giving me so free food. I did say that in my head, but what I really thought was, Oh my God, I can’t believe how much money I am spending just to eat out and then basically flush that money down the toilet, if you know what I mean.

At the point I made the decision to change my eating habits and only eat out a few times a month. At this time, I was in the process of making some investments and doing some other things that I needed to do to secure a better future for myself. I made those changes and about a year later, I was significantly better off.  That one little change in habit and discipline allowed me to make others changes as well.  These changes allowed me to have some success in several areas of my life.

This one little measurement in my life had high gains for me.  By looking at my spending habits I could easily tell what it was that I valued.  And that was work, because I didn’t have time to cook.  Or at least that is what I told myself. And I enjoyed not having to cook. And my thinking in my head at that time was “I had the money to spend”, so why shouldn’t I do it?

I tell everyone today that if I look at your bank account and your transactions I can learn really quickly what it is you value and think is important.   And these important things could be good for you or bad for you, I don’t know.  The bottom line is, you and I both, spend our money on things we think are important.

The other area of people’s life that I can look at and take a measurement of, and know what it is they find important.  Is where they spend their time, inevitably I have people tell me all of the time in my workshops that they put their family above everything else as the most important, and the time they spend with them is sacred.

Then I ask them to complete a timelog (which is a log that you put what you do each day down on paper to the quarter-hour of every hour).  Now, most people never want to be totally honest with themselves and put exactly how, and how much time, they spend on certain things.  But those who do, can really learn a lot from this exercise.

What people typically find out is that they waste more time than they thought they did.  They also learn that what they say is most important, doesn’t always measure out to be as important. At least the amount of time, if any, given to that activity.

Are you willing to do an inventory of yourself or your household? Are you willing to look at these two measurements in your life and see if you are spending too much, or too little time and money in these areas?  Most people aren’t willing to be this critical with themselves, but you are different if you have read this far.

Take a look at how you spend your money.  What trends do you see?  Good or bad.  If you are interested in tracking your time on a timelog, reach out to me at bwillett555@gmail.com and I will give you the timelog sheet for free. Just shoot me an email with the subject line TimeLog and in the email put your email address.

Before you can decide where you want to go, you have to first know where you are.  You can do this by measuring these two areas of your life.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

 

 

Personal responsibility. What happened to it?

Most of the time, I am writing about things that are on my mind at the moment. And after this weekend, the one thing that is on my mind, are the words Personal Responsibility.  I think the reason those words and what it means, is on my mind, because I just feel like there is a lack of it at every turn right now.

So what does Personal Responsibility mean?  If you google search the words, which I did. Four hundred and ninety-one million results will be returned.  But the first one provided by wikiquote, which I like.  Says this: It is the idea that human beings choose, instigate, or otherwise cause their own actions. A corollary idea is that because we cause our actions, we can be held morally accountable or legally liable.

If you are a believer in Personal Responsibility than you would agree that we as individuals choose what happens to us and not are circumstances, and we are not bystanders in our own lives. You either believe this or you don’t.

I think the word instigate is probably the one word that sticks out to me the most in the definition of personal responsibility.  I looked up that word as well.  By the way.  Most people don’t look up words anymore.  I know I didn’t until I became a writer and because of that I didn’t want to rely on my memory or what I thought a word meant until I looked it up. I would encourage you to look up words more, because you may not truly understand what the word means, but I digress.

Instigate means; to urge or provoke a certain action to occur. Meaning you personally did something that caused this action.  You may not have intended to do it, but because you took an action a result occurred.

Back to the word or idea of Personal Responsibility.  If you honestly believe this, you ether believe it or you don’t.  You can’t be half way into Personal Responsibility.  You either believe that individuals control their own destiny or they don’t.  You either believe that we all have the same opportunity because of our abilities, skills, and talents or you don’t.  You can’t believe that we have the ability to control this thing, but not this thing. You have to be all in or not.

Years ago, I was in a work situation that wasn’t ideal.  I wasn’t getting along with a few key people who I needed to get a long with.  I felt like they were assholes, didn’t listen, and only cared about what it was they were looking to do.  And they felt the same way about me. I whined about it constantly and ultimately interviewed and received job offers to leave that company and that situation.

I didn’t leave the company.  I ended up staying.  But I chose to take a different approach.  I changed my attitude, I changed the way I conducted business, and ultimately those relationships changed and I ended up becoming most of their bosses. In all of this, the one thing that I could control was me.  And that is what I did.

You could make the argument that I was at a disadvantage because of the people I was working with.  Most of them had more years of experience within that company and more experience in that industry. I could say that everyone was taking their side because of these conditions.  And I did make that argument at first, until I made the decision to change.

One of my favorite stories my mentor has shared with me over and over makes this point as well.  He tells the story that he was at a point in his life, where he needed to make more money and was complaining to his mentor about how much his company was paying him.

My mentor said that he told his mentor that he would be doing better financially and otherwise, if his company paid more.  His mentor replied and said.  “Are there other people in your company that get paid more than you do?”

My mentor replied to his with a “yes.” His mentor then told him that it wasn’t the company then, it must be him. He also said “What was it that he was not doing or doing that was preventing him from making more?”

My mentor took personal responsibility and changed his life for the better and now has impacted millions of others because of this one step in taking personal responsibility.

In today’s society everyone is looking to blame other people, companies, social media, parents, schools, etc. for the reasons they are where they are, or do what they do. If you believe in Personal Responsibility than you would also believe that we all have equal opportunity to have the life we want.

Culturally nowadays, people are given a pass on personal responsibility before they even had a chance to have it.  A few examples of this is in our school systems.  They say, because a person comes from a certain socioeconomic background that they are not able to perform at the same standards as others. It is a really sad state of affairs that we give a pass, and this by itself creates a lower ceiling and keeps these individuals from every reaching their full potential because they have never had to.

As I look back over my life. I went to the worst schools in the city and county I grew up in. My parents combined probably never made more than thirty or forty thousand dollars to support a family of five people.  I allowed these conditions to define who I was, early on into my adult life.

I said this is who I am, this is what I do.  I believed that I didn’t have the same opportunities because of who and where I came from.  When I made the change in my mind, to go out a do better for myself, I had a lot of opportunities present themselves to me. But I had to take Personal Responsibility.

Where in your life have you lacked Personal Responsibility? What areas in your life should you take more accountability for?  Are you enabling others to not realize their full potential, because you are not allowing them to take Personal Responsibility?

I would be curious to hear your thoughts on these questions.  Please share your thoughts in comments.

To your success and your future.