6 reasons why your career has stalled

You know Bob don’t you.  Bob is three cubicles down for you.  Bob is a nice guy.  He is a great employee for your company.  He has worked there for about five years.  He has nice family.  His wife is great, she also has a great career. His three kids are all in public school, although he would rather they be in private school.

Bob shows up to work on time everyday.  He will also stay late when needed.  His work is always done very well.  Bob is well liked by all of his colleagues.  He is the nice smart guy, as they call him.

Bob has been in the same position with the same title for about five years.  He likes his job, but Bob would also like to make more money.  Private school tuition is expensive and his wife would like to move to a nicer newer home in a different neighborhood.

Bob has put in for a few positions that have opened up in his company, he interviewed with the hiring manager, but Bob has always felt like they already had someone picked out that would be taking the job. So Bob didn’t think he had a chance anyway.

Question for you?  Do you know Bob?  Do you have a Bob at your company?  If you can’t think of a Bob at your company, maybe it is a Suzy, or maybe it is you?

My guess is if you are reading this blog, it means you at least aware enough to realize that reading information like this may be able to help you get where you want in your life and your career.  You may be a seeker of new information, knowing that you need to do something different to get a better result than you are currently getting.

Here are 6 things that may have contributed to your career stalling:

  1. You havent invested in your skills since, well, you don’t know when:
    I used to work with someone who in their mind should have been running the company, but at the very least, they felt like they should have been the leader of the entire department.  This person was a lot like Bob in many ways as far as work goes. Except they had closer to like fifteen years of experience.They had not taken a course, a class, read a book, or anything for about as long as they have been in their career out of college.  Is this you? You might be thinking, well I have went to the monthly, quarterly, or company training for all of these years.  I have learned a lot from these, and I have done what they have asked.

    Good for you.  Let me remind you. So as everyone else in your company.  Nobody cares that you have done what is mandatory or required. The question is what have you done on your own.  What kind of resources (time and money) of your own have you invested to enhance your skills.

  2. You don’t cross party lines: 
    In an organization it is really easy to get caught up in your day-to-day job.  You eat lunch with the people in your department, you go on breaks with the people in your department, and you even spend time out side of the office with people in your office.

    These are good things for your job, but not good things for your career. You have to make it a point to go and hang out with other people from other departments.  You have to make it point to get to know the leaders with other departments.

    Unfortunately, leaders are selfish, and the leader in your department might not want to promote you and have to replace you. I hope that is not the case, but it could be.  Get out and meet other people in your company.

  3. You haven’t done anything hard in a long time.
    “Today we have a new initiative that will need strong leadership and someone take on some new roles! Who would be willing to take on this challenge?”  Everyone on your team immediately looks around the room at the other people.

    This happens every single day in business.  A leader creates an opportunity for someone like you or Bob to take on a new challenge, and instead of being the first to raise your hand to sign up for it, you look around and let someone else take it.  Or even worse the leader has to assign it to someone.

    If you haven’t done anything out of your comfort zone in your current job in quite some time, at best you aren’t getting noticed by anybody, and at worst you are bored out of your freaking mind.

    Do something different, take on the new task the new challenge.  I have watched many people take on these news challenges and a whole new career opens up for them that is more exciting and even paid more than the current one they were in.

  4. You don’t promote yourself.
    Working with companies as a consultant/coach as well as being in a company in various leadership positions for most of my career. I know it is easy for a senior leader, company owner, or a manager to get used to getting great work from you or someone like a Bob.

    The unfortunate or fortunate reality is you are a solid performer.  It is fortunate because your co-workers or your boss know they can rely on you.  It is unfortunate because they take it for granted.

    As often as necessary you have to remind your boss and whoever else needs to know in your company that you do great work and you are capable of more.

    Early in my career I made it a point to be seen when I knew others (higher-ups) could see me. If you just grind it out day in and day out, you wont be noticed, you have to get out and get noticed.  If you work remotely, you have to find a way to get noticed (contact me if you are interested in brainstorming ways to do this).

  5. You aren’t leading from where you are:

    Who said you must have a title to be a leader?  Answer:  Everybody has.  When we all think of leadership we think of position or title.  You can be a leader in any position within your company.  Leadership is not a certain position or title, it is a way of thinking, it is actions, it is characteristics and it can also be these things and a title, but a title is not necessary.

    If you are Mr., Ms., or Mrs. Grumpy about the fact you haven’t got promoted, or if you still want to sit at the water cooler and talk about all the things that are wrong with the company.  This is not leading.  Nope, this is fitting in with the crowd, this is staying where you are.

    Leadership is hard, leadership is going against what everyone else thinks.  Leadership is doing the things others don’t or can’t do.

  6. You stopped working for you: 
    Here is a myth that we all have fallen victim to.  We all have fallen for the “I work for ….” and “Do ….. at this …… company”.

    Why is this is a myth?  Because it is what we all have been doing for years and years.  Working for a company is great.  Being part of a company that is meeting its goals and growing, is an awesome thing.  I have been there and done that.  However, where I and many others got sideways is thinking that is all we are doing.

    Often times, I and maybe you as well, get so focused on helping the company meet their initiatives and meanwhile the company is not helping you meet your goals, your personal mission and vision you have for your life.

    Look, it is hard to find a position that is perfect match, where the company and the job  utilizes your skills and you are excited about what you do. But working for a company that doesn’t utilize your skills and you are not excited about is even harder to work for.

    My advice is simple.  Remember that a company is renting the skills you bring to the table.  They are renting your habits and your skills.  They pay you X and you lead people to a goal.  They pay you X and you put together so many widgets for them.  They pay you X and you organize things for them. They pay you X and you sell something for their company. They pay you X and you do the accounting for them.

    Keep in mind you collect the rents from them and while doing so, you continue to invest in yourself and become the best YOU, you can be.

    As a landlord I collect rents from my tenants.  The money is good most of the time.  However, if I don’t invest back into my properties, I eventually can’t charge as much for rents.  You are no different.  You can collect the rents for as long as you want from your company, but remember YOU have to invest some of the money back in to you, so you can continue to charge more for the rent.  And you can no longer be like Bob.

So has your career stalled? Do any of the thing six things sound like things you are or aren’t doing? If so, what are you going to do about it? It is up to you.

If you would like to meet with me for a one on one free consultation complete the form below and lets talk. It is free, and it could change your life. However, remember its up to you to do the work.

To your success and your future.

You should Stop, Start, and Continue these things

How do you know if you are on the right track?  Is that a question that we should ask ourselves sometimes?  I think so.  It is probably a question that we should probably ask ourselves more often.

I think success is a journey.  You won’t get there over night.  However there are some things in life that we should be doing, should not be doing, and things we should do more of.

STOP:  There are some things that you should stop doing immediately.  Don’t you agree?  If you are 30 pounds over weight, you should probably stop your current eating habits and exercise habits.  If you don’t have any exercise and health habits, you should continue to read further and find out what you should start doing.  Do you have negative friends that are making you negative.  Think about it.  How are the people you are around influencing your attitude, your decisions, your spending habits.  If you aren’t where you want to be, you should STOP spending time with them or limit your time with them.

About a year ago, I made the decision to STOP watching the national news.  That one little decision has impacted my life and my success (my definition of success: measurable progress towards worthwhile goals).

What do you need to STOP doing?

START:  I don’t know which one is harder to do.  Start something or Stop something.  I guess it really just depends on who you are and how motivated you are.  But there are somethings we just have to start doing.  Going back to your health.  You just have to start.  Maybe you start with counting calories.  Or maybe you start by walking around your neighborhood or up and down the street.  Whatever it is and how much you do it can always change, but you just have to START.  Your negative friends that you are spending time with, you just have to STOP spending time with them, but maybe you start by limiting your time with them.

I have a friend that made the decision to START working out and he made it a priority in his life.  It has changed his entire life from health, fitness, family, career, and accomplishing more of his goals.

What should you START doing?

CONTINUE:  Then we all have some things that we must continue to do.  There are some things that just work.  I would hope we all have something in our life that is working.  So we must continue to do those things and make sure we find the time to ensure those things continue.  I have found that the best way for me to find out if something works and I should continue to do it, is by doing a lot of things that don’t work.  This trial and error process is what has allowed me to find the things I make a priority and continue to do.

What are you going to CONTINUE doing?

Take an inventory today of your goals, your passions, your time, your friends, your daily routine, etc.  You may find some examples of things you should STOP doing, you may identify some things you should start doing, and lastly, make sure you continue to do the things that are working for you.

Adding value

I have two really good friends in my life right now that have blessed me in so many ways.  On my way to meet with one of them last night I was on the phone with the other.  So for about four hours last night I talked about growth, development, relationships, business, spiritual, and life as a whole with both of them.

What is value? To me the definition of value is, worth. That seems like a pretty good definition, without having to even go to the internet to see what it says.

So how do you know if someone is adding value to you? Is worth something to you.   A good question, right? Here are some ways I judge it.

  • Do they talk about the things I care to talk about. 
  • Do they tell me things that I did not know before.
  • Do they challenge my thinking a little?  Ask me for clarification on something I say. 
  • Do they disagree at times with me. 
  • Do they challenge me to look at something differently. 
  • Do they challenge me. 
  • Do they say something that inspires me. 
  • Are they doing the same things I am doing. 
  • Here is a big one, when I leave the conversation, am I excited and enthusiastic about what is to come?

Can you answer yes to these questions.  There have been many studies conducted on people and how we become who we spend most of our time with.  For example:  If I spend a lot of time with people who like to drink beer and watch sports.  Chances are I will drink beer and watch a lot of sports.  I am not saying anything is wrong with that, I am just saying you become who you spend most of your time with.

I realize that we interact with people and have conversations with people all day long and not all of those relationships can add value.  However, you can have people who add value to you in other ways as well.  I have a friend that probably doesn’t do most of the above at all, however, when we get together it is a great release to my life.  They add value in that way.  However, like everything, we have to spend our time wisely, even though we are blessed with each day, what we do with that time each day is what is most important.

What if most of your time was spent with people who added value to you? They bring some kind of worth to your life.  What would that do to your life?

Brian Willett

 

Why not think rich

If you have never heard of the classic business book that is on everyones list as the top business book of all times, here is your introduction to it.  Think and Grow Rich was written by Napoleon Hill.  It is a great read and has a lot of great advice in it.  Even though this book is classified as a business book it is really a “thinking book”.  It gets you thinking about you and what you can control, which is your own thinking.

Here is a list of some os the great quotes from the book:

  • “Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success”
  • “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.”
  • “Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward.”
  • “The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.”
  • “Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.”
  • “Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure.”
  • “Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.”
  • “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle…”
  • “The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.”
  • “The starting point of all achievement is desire.”
  • “The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.”
  • “Education comes from within; you get it by struggle and effort and thought.”
  • “Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.”
  • “Fears are nothing more than a state of mind”
  • “Failure is a trickster with a keen sense of irony and cunning. It takes great delight in tripping one when success is almost within reach”
  • “If you do not see great riches in your imagination, you will never see them in your bank balance.”

How do these quotes inspire you to think differently today?  Please share with me your thoughts.

 

15 Invaluable Laws of Growth Summary

My mentor and favorite thought leader John C. Maxwell published a book titled “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth” about a year ago.  It is a great playbook on how to be intentional about your own personal growth.  I pulled it back out and read it again, and I want to share the super short summary of the book.

1.  The Law of Intentionality

  • Growth doesn’t just happen.  You must be intentional about your growth

2.  The Law of Awareness

  • You must know yourself to grow yourself. The first step in change is awareness, then you can change.  Check out my blog titled “Are you competent”.  For additional insight on the phase of learning and growing.

3.  The Law of the Mirror

  • You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.  Don’t compare yourself to others and limit your own self talk that is negative.

4.  The Law of Reflection

  • Learning to pause allows growth to catch up with you.  Peter Drucker says it like this:  “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”  I personally need to do more of this.

5.  The Law of Consistency

  • Motivation gets you going–Discipline keeps you growing.  Develop the good habits that lead to success.  Just showing up is 80% of success.  Some people just don’t show up. You can beat them pretty easily by just being consistent in showing up.

6.  The Law of Environment

  • Growth thrives in conducive surroundings.  Mark Cane says: “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment you first find yourself in.”  Check out my blog titled “Are you in a Growth environment.”  If you are always at the head of the class you are in the wrong class.

7.  The Law of Design

  • To maximize growth, develop strategies.  Jim Rohn says:  “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you will fall into someone else’s plan.  And guess what they may have planned for you?  NOT much.”

8.  The Law of Pain

  • Good management of bad experiences leads to great growth.  You must suffer pain to realize a gain.  No pain, No gain.  No investment, no ROI.

9.  The Law of the Ladder

  • Character growth determines the height of your personal growth.  Doug Firebaugh says: “Achievement to most people is something you do…to the high achiever, it is something you are.”  Be great!

10.  The Law of the Rubber Band

  • Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be.  W. Somerset Maugham says: “Only a mediocre person is always at his best.”  If you aren’t stretching yourself than you aren’t growing.  Don’t let the rubber band become limp.

11.  The Law of the Trade Offs

  • You have to give up to grow up.  Eric Hoffer says:  “People will cling to an unsatisfactory way of life rather than change in order to get something better for fear of getting something worse.”  The difference between where we are and where we want to be is created by the changes we are willing to make in our lives.  This is an area where I need to continue to grow.

12.  The Law of Curiosity

  • Growth is stimulated by asking Why?  Ask more questions.  The old saying:  Those who can do will always have a job, and the people who know why, will always be their boss.

13.  The Law of Modeling

  • It’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow.  Find a mentor and look for a coach.  You can’t learn from someone who hasn’t been there before.  Find the people who have been there and done that and ask them lots of questions.

14.  The Law of Expansion

  • Growth always increases your capacity. Most experts believe we only use 10% of their potential.  Wow!  Scary and wonderful at the same time.  We all have the capacity to grow ourselves.

15.  The Law of Contribution

  • Growing yourself enables you to grow others.  You can’t give what you don’t possess.  So first you must grow yourself to be able to grow others, the 14 other laws tell us how to grow ourselves.

There are a lot of little nuggets in the above text.  As the last law states, my hope through my blog and my book summaries is to make a contribution to someone else’s growth.

Brian Willett

Don’t be an incompetent

My goal in my Sales Class courses is really two-fold:  First and foremost is to teach the class participants how professionals use a process to make sales.  Amateurs wing it and professionals have a process and they know why they win the sale, when they win the sale.  Meaning they follow a sound process.  The second goal in my class: to provide tools and resources that the class participants can apply to their life.  Real leadership is first leading yourself.  Meaning you do what you ask others to do.  Secondly, creating inspiration for others to see that they can become more and have more.

Throughout my class I start with the core of the curriculum and then weave in personal and self-development resources that the class participants can apply to their business, their profession, and their life.

All of my class participants start in 1 of the 4 competencies outlined below.  In their sales knowledge and skill as well as their personal development, they all start in 1 of the 4 areas.  By the end of the course my goal is to have them at least to the 3rd competency.

They can be: 

1.  Unconsciously / Incompetent:  They don’t know they don’t know.  We have all been here before.  They have never been trained on a sales process, they have never been coached for improved performance, so they don’t know that this stuff exists.

They then become…

2.  Consciously / Incompetent:  Meaning they know that they don’t know.  The people who fall into this category are a lot of fun, because if they are aware enough to know that they don’t know, they usually really want to be in my course.  This applies to life as well.  When you can admit that you don’t know something it is usually a great first step in the right direction.

Through the course they become…

3.  Consciously / Competent: Meaning they have now learned a process and they are applying it and are aware of what they are doing and have applied some of the skills learned. This is a really good place to be.  See most people are not aware of where they are and they don’t even know it.  So in my course when a person becomes consciously/competent about the sales process and where their buyer is in the buying decision, it allows them to know what to do next, and by being consciously aware of that you can have more success than you normally would have if you didn’t know what you were doing.

A great example of this is when I play golf.  I have to really focus on are my arms straight, is my head down, and my swinging through the ball.  As you will see below, the golf professionals are not in this category all of the time, they get to the next level of competency even though we all bounce back and forth between the last two competencies.

When you get here during this process on any new skill or trade it is good place to be, because you now have a foundation and you can build off of it, if you continue to focus on it.

Lastly…

4.  Unconsciously / Competent: At this stage you become so good at something that you just do it.  You don’t even have to think about.  It’s like driving a car.  When you get into your car, you just put the key in the ignition and go.  But watch a new driver.  What do they do?  They are a little slower usually aren’t they?  They check the mirrors, they adjust the seat, they are just a little slower than those of us who are more seasoned aren’t they. Another good example is this.  When Kobe Bryant is dribbling the ball down the lane going for a lay-up and the defender steps in his way.  He unconsciously knows he has to crossover the ball to his other hand so the defender doesn’t steal the ball.  He doesn’t even have to think about it, he just does it.  Its like the professional golfers.  They don’t have to think about the little things like I do when they are playing golf. They are unconsciously/competent on those things.  They are more worried about other things.

So where are you in your life, your skills, your career.  Do you not know what you don’t know?  Do you know you don’t know?  So what are you going to do about it?  Or are you aware and you’re applying the training you have received and maybe you need more.  Or are you just so good that you “just do it”.  Be aware of where you are, that is always the best first step and then create some goals to get where you want to be. If you don’t know where you are going you just might end up there.

Brian Willett

The people I want to be around

We are all products of our own environment.  We are who we are because of the associations and company we keep. Growing up your parent(s) may have said now “I don’t want you hanging out with, ________., they are bad news.”  I think we all knew what our parents meant by bad news.  These people would get us in trouble.  Back in those days, what was trouble?  Well, it was staying out too late, or in my case riding my bike in the “next” neighborhood” as we called it.  It was the neighborhood next to ours, and this is what we always called it.  So what was trouble then, is not the same as it is now.

As we get older our associations have much more influence and impact on us than we even know.  If you hang out with Negative Nancy all day at work, but you think you are a positive person, you are just crazy.  Matter of fact, the fact that you hang out with Negative Nancy, and everyone knows that Negative Nancy is Negative Nancy for a reason, you are automatically considered negative as well.  But it is not only the fact that Negative Nancy hurts your image and brand, but she also brings you down.  See, you can’t think forward when you are thinking backwards, duh, right?  So what is that association doing to you?

The law of limited association is where I am seeking to get better with who I am spending my time with.  I can’t spend major time with minor people. Minor meaning: They are great people, but if they don’t think the same way as I do, then it is what it is.  I must cut the amount of time, period.  There are some associations you need to spend more time with.  This is an area where I am seeking to get better.  I have to spend major time with major people.  Major in this case meaning, push me to places I wouldn’t go on my own.  Challenge me to be better.

Someone can always add value to you and your life, if you just take some time and listen and try to learn from them.  However, there comes a point where its time for you to be around people and associate with people who are looking forward to the future the same way you look forward to the future.

The people I want to be around:

  • Seek growth over comfort
  • Fix problems over ignoring them
  • Focus on how we get better today and tomorrow instead of getting through the day
  • Realize they haven’t arrived
  • Have been there before and can tell me how they did it.
  • Inspire me
  • Bring something of significance to the table
  • Tell me something I didn’t know
  • We work together to design something of value and significance
  • Work harder than I do. 
  • Thinks BIG picture and BIG life over the challenges of the day. 
  • The biggest problems we discuss are not WHAT, it is how! 

Last night, I had a great conversation and drinks with a very good friend and colleague of mine.  This person inspired me enough to write this blog today.  I think it sums it up on who I need to spend my time with.

Brian Willett

Why Greg Popovich is the definition of leadership!

Greg Popovich just won his fifth NBA Championship as the head coach of the San Antonio Spurs.  Did you see him on the stage getting the trophy?  Nope, he was in the background, he appeared to be posted up against the scorers table while his team was interviewed by Stuart Scott of ESPN.  I actually think if Pop could have went back to the locker room he would have.

We all know he is a great coach, and he gets joked on a lot about his short interviews at half-time and in between quarters, but this guy is the true definition of a leader.

What makes “Pop” so great?

  • I don’t think I have ever heard him use the pronouns I or me. It is always them, the players, the team, the (INPUT Players names).
  • He makes sure his team gets the credit when they win
  • He takes the blame when they lose.
  • He never talks about his career or his legacy.
  • He loves his players.
  • His players get better each year.
  • He leads by example.
  • He has a system and sticks to it.
  • He has created a winning culture
  • The team is always having fun.
  • He doesn’t want credit, he wants to give credit.
  • He is loyal and the team knows it.
  • He never talks about what he did or how he did it. It’s always about the players.

I know there are a lot of other reasons why Greg Popovich is a great leader.  But last night as I watched the San Antonio Spurs win their fifth NBA Championship under Greg Popovich, I was in awe of how he handled it all.  He is the true definition of great leadership and a great example for all aspiring leaders or current leaders to emulate.

Brian Willett

 

Don’t hit the snooze button

I am the type of person that usually gets up before my alarm clock goes off in the morning.  Actually, most mornings it is well before it goes off.  I have that internal clock now that just knows when it is time to go.  Each morning there a few ways that we all can be woken up.  If you are like me (95% of mornings) you just wake up because you have had enough sleep.  Some people, like children require a parent to wake them up and then lastly, maybe you are woken up by your alarm clock.  I think the alarm sound on my iPhone has to be the most annoying sound on the face of the earth.

Just like we are woken up on a given day, life experiences can sometimes do the same thing.  I recently had this experience personally.  As I mentioned above, I am the guy that gets up well before the alarm goes off.  Alarms to me are loud, frighten me, and are annoying.  Alarms remind me of being in school where we had those fire drills. I can remember walking down the halls and when you would walk by the actual alarm you had to cover your ears because it was so loud.  That is how I think of alarms.  So I would prefer to stay away from alarms.

In a recent experience in my professional life the alarm has gone off to awaken me to some realities of my life.  For the first time in my life, it required the alarm clock to go off instead of me getting up on my own.  I can now hit the snooze button on the alarm, or jump up and get moving.  We have all heard the story of a person that is over weight and lives an unhealthy lifestyle.  Then one day it happens, they get the chest pain, the sweats, the numbness in the arm.  They had many of these signs along the way, but they just kept sleeping, they didn’t change their ways.  So now the alarm has gone off, and they are at the ER about to have a Heart Cath and they find out that they are having a heart attack.  See the Heart Attack is the alarm.  They allowed the alarm to go off, and now it is time to change, because now they must change.

I recently had the alarm go off, (Luckily I can’t die in this situation, physically at least, mentally maybe)  I can hit the snooze button or make the necessary changes so I can get up before the alarm goes off next time. What happens when you hit the snooze button? Well you are usually running behind all day, or even worse, you are actually late to work or wherever else you need to be.  I am going to choose not to hit the snooze button.  See, I am usually up before the alarm goes off, that is how I live my life, this time the alarm has gone off, and I must choose not to hit the snooze button, and get up right now.

Brian Willett

 

“Never Go Back”

I just finished an awesome book.  I was so inspired by it that I finished it in one sitting.  That is really big for me.

The name of the book is “Never Go Back” 10 Things You’ll never do again, the author is Dr. Henry Cloud.  This book was recommended to me by Dave Ramsey.  What was really interesting about this book, is I have a draft of a blog that I haven’t published yet along the same lines as this book.  I’ll post my version soon.

At first I was thinking this book may be about relationships, and it is, our whole life is all about relationships.  Everything we do in life (unless you are a hermit) involves relationships.  Personal relationships, relationships with your boss, relationships with your colleagues, your neighbors, etc.  Everything in life is about relationships really.  However, this book is as much a personal development book, a career guide, a business book as well.  We have to be constantly looking forward in this life to be successful.

The 10 Things that You’ll never do again:

1. Never again… Return to what hasn’t worked:  Before you ever think about returning you should ask your self these three questions.  Tomorrow should be new and improved, always!

  • Am I different in some way that would make this work?
  • Is the other person or persons different in some way?
  • Is the situation fundamentally different in some way?

2.  Never again…Do anything that requires you to be someone you’re not. Before you invest in a person, a relationship, a team, a company, a career, a church, or anything that you will become part of in a meaningful way, ask yourself this question:  Can I do this and still be me?  Obviously, most things require compromise and sacrifice, but never sacrifice being who you are.

3.  Never again…Try to change another person.  I can’t get someone to do something they don’t choose to do, either because they can’t or because they don’t desire to do it.

4.  Never again…Belive that you can please everyone.  To please everyone it requires you to be multiple people.  This just isn’t physically or mentally possible.  And worse, if you are making everyone happy, you are making the wrong people happy.  The people who are hardest to please are often the most self-centered and are only happy when you do what is good for them and that is usually not good for the whole.

5.  Never again…Choose short term comfort over long-term benefit.  The bible refers to a sluggard.  I didn’t even know what a sluggard was, I could assume.  The true definition of a sluggard: is someone who avoids pain. Anything of value usually has some kind of pain attached to it.  If we avoid pain now, the payoff will never come.  And more pain will. Pain first, payoff later, discipline before strength, investment before return, no pain-no gain. A moment of pain can lead to a long time of relief, if we are willing to go through what successful people go through all of the time, face a season of pain, disruption, discomfort, effort, something that hurts a bit.  Here is a rule:  Suffer first, and benefit later.

6.  Never again…Trust someone or something flawless.  The world is imperfect. Period. No one thing is without flaw.  When we are deceived by the portrayal of perfection, we set ourselves up for a great fall. When someone or something looks to good to be true, he, she, or it is.

7.  Never again…Take your eyes of the big picture.  Thrivers always keep the big picture in mind, while strugglers get caught up in what is happening at the moment.  No one thing that happens to us can determine who we are.  When you keep the bigger picture in mind, you will always have hope for another day.  Don’t let the little defeats keep you from pursuing your bigger goals.  This is just part of life.

8.  Never again…Neglect to do due diligence.  Successful people take their time.  They investigate all of the facts and try to make the best decisions after uncovering as many facts as they can.  This can be about  a person, a company, or any situation, always do due diligence.

9.  Never again…Fail to ask why you are here and where you are.  Never ignore the part you play in being where you are.  You should constantly be asking yourself:  What am I doing, Is this working, Why am I here, What am I becoming.  These are all questions that require you to look at yourself and your situation and know the part you are playing in your life.  When we begin to change, then the situations we find ourselves can begin to change as well.

10.  Never again…Forget that your inner life determines your outer success.  Our life is never on the outside.  It is always on the inside.  The invisible life always produces the visible life.  Life works “inside out.”  Our happiness is determined by who we are on the inside and who we have become.  People who invest themselves in developing their real talents and strengths and then put them to use are more fulfilled.

This book gave a lot of insight on the above things that most of us have probably experienced at some point in our life.  The question is Do you go back, or do you learn from the experience and move forward.

I highly recommend this book to anybody who is trying to move forward in their career, their personal life, or other areas in their life and just can’t seem to make any progress.

Brian Willett