I talk to lots of people all of the time that tell me they are just not getting what they want in their life. It could be a certain career, better children, more money, investments, relationships, health and fitness, etc. You name it and I have heard it. I have been there myself many times.
About five years ago, I was one of those people who said I need to find a partner/woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who is aligned with the way I think, we want the same things in life, business, and everything else.
I challenged myself with this question: “Am I the person, the person I am looking for is looking for?”
That is a big question isn’t it? It required me to take a deep look at everything I was doing in my life at the time. It challenged me to ask myself what do I need to change to find the person that I want in my life.
At the time I was thinking about this ideal person and ideal wife. I had been in a long-term relationship off and on that was just never going to go anywhere. We have all had one of those relationships. There is nothing wrong with you, and as much as you may agree or disagree, there wasn’t anything wrong with the other person.
If the relationship you are in or was in, is just really jacked up, than shame on you. Don’t be stupid. But most of the time, relationships aren’t that jacked up. If it is, get the heck out of it. Mine wasn’t. It was just two people who had fun together, but were on two different pages in life and other things.
So I asked myself the question “Am I the person the person I am looking for, is looking for?” I then got out of the current situation that I was in. Then the next step was to put together a list of what it was that I wanted in a person.
This is the process for all change to occur in our life. This is the process to setting goals, changing behaviors, and getting what you want out of life. You ask yourself the questions.
Where am I? Is this where I want to be? If the answer is no. You get out of that situation, if it is a situation that you have to get out of it to move things forward.
And then you ask yourself the final question before you get to work finding it. Which is “What do I want?”
I asked myself “What do I want?” I am not going to give you my full list here, but if you have attended one of my workshops or seminars, then you have heard the list, or you can attend and get the list.
But here are a couple of things:
- Goal Oriented
- Doesn’t blame others for their problems
- No Kids
- Career Minded
- No debt or very little debt
- Certain income level
- A good heart
I got even more specific in my list creation than what I have shared here, but you get the point. You could say black hair, no hair, height, weight, etc. Its your damn list and your life. Put whatever list you want. Whatever you do, don’t ever settle for less. Settle for more.
Now you can’t find out all of this stuff on one date or two dates, it takes some time. But here is the deal though. If you actually go through the process of creating a list and doing the work in advance of what it is you want and don’t want, then you will know it when you see it. That is the value of the list.
If you haven’t found the person you want yet, it is because you don’t know what you are looking for. That is how goals work. You have to set them in advance, because that is how you will know when you see the opportunity or in this case, the person, when you see it.
My wife sometimes reads my stuff and sometimes doesn’t have the time, so just in case she reads this. My guess is she will since her title is in the subject line. I am going to make sure I add this.
I got everything on my list and then some. I settled for more. She is amazing and beautiful and I definitely won.
I want you to win as well. I challenge you to go through this process. Visualize the person you want, make the list, and then you will find it. Until you do this you will never get what you want or deserve.
To your success and your future.