Lets face it. If you have lived on this earth for very long at all, by the time you are reading this post. The chances are, you at least somewhat agree with the title. If not, maybe you will be thoroughly convinced by the end of reading this post.
Most people don’t have a clue: Yes, I do believe this is true in most cases. I am not saying nobody knows, or everyone is clueless. No, I am saying “most” people don’t have a clue.
Ex: You could probably ask the five closest people you are around right now this question: “Do you consider yourself a Facebook expert”? The chances are they will respond with a yes. Most people think they are experts because they use something frequently. That doesn’t make them an expert. If they are telling you to be sure you advertise on Facebook. Are you going to take their advice, or someone who really knows? Meaning, the small percentage of people and experts who actually understand marketing and Facebook advertising. Not your buddy, who thinks they know what they are talking about just because they use it.
People give you the advice that they are comfortable with themselves: Maybe you are thinking of a new career. Or a new job opportunity. The position or the new career sounds really awesome. You are qualified for it, you like the people you will be working with. You really think this is the right move. Keep in mind, you really like your current job as well, but you are slowly getting bored with it. You just don’t feel challenged anymore.
So you ask your buddy. Who has done the same job for the last ten years, and really hasn’t done anything to grow their skills in any other areas, so they most likely plan on staying where they are. You tell them about this new opportunity and tell them you are thinking about leaving your current position. What advice do you think this buddy of yours is going to give you?
It’s not a bad thing that your buddy has a long-term employment record with a company. However, it does show that they prefer stability and consistency. Which is perfectly okay to like.
However, they might not be as risky as you are. Or as anxious for a new opportunity as you are. So they might not give you the advice that someone else who may have switched careers every five years to pursue new opportunities would give you. Their suggestions or feedback on the possible change might be “stay where you are”. “You are just getting started”. Or something along those lines. This is the advice that they have given themselves. This is the advice that they are comfortable with and that is the advice they will give you.
They haven’t been where you are going: We all have done this. Shit, I sometimes still do it. You would think I would know better by now.
Have you ever thought about doing something that sounded a little different from what everyone in your circle is doing? Maybe you are thinking of starting your own business. Or maybe it is some product you have thought about creating. Maybe it is taking a trip to a place that people like you don’t take trips to normally. Or, it could be just changing the way you interact with people at work, or how you do your work.
Regardless of what it is. The chances are you have at some point decided to go against the norm. Well, the norm that is in your circles.
So, you do like most of us do and run it past a few of your closest friends. And they can’t wrap their brains around what you are saying. They have never thought like that, which means they can’t fathom doing what you are thinking about doing. They tell you the risks. All of the bad things that could happen. And in many cases you would think they are an expert on what ever it is you are thinking about doing.
Lets be honest. They are not experts. Matter of fact, they are the furthest thing from it. They can’t even fathom what you are doing, much less add any value to what it is you are attempting to do.
Most people are showing you a facade. What is a facade? an outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.
You know some of these people. You have seen glimpses of them from time to time. They are all around you. That person that has the really nice new cars, nice new house, nice new clothes, etc. Whatever it is. They are showing you the appearance that they have it all going for them. Mean while. They are about to lose their house, their marriage, and their nice new cars, because they can’t afford the lifestyle.
In today’s world, this facade could be on Facebook or some other kind of digital platform. Again, you are looking at the high light reels of someones life and you think they are the right person to seek advice from. They are not.
The most obvious one: Have you ever made a decision to live a healthier lifestyle? You know what this includes. Bringing your lunch to work. Your lunch bag or box filled with vegetables, carrots, humus, or the leftovers from some healthy meal you cooked the night before. In addition to the change in eating habits, you have also started exercising a lot more. You talk about the workout you did at your local gym, or some running program, or some other kind of home workout program.
Whenever you do this. You inevitability will always get a person that is in your circles that is the expert on everything you are doing. They know the best workouts. The best foods to eat. And everything else “health”, you can think of. However, you have never once heard them talk about this stuff before. They also use words like “used to” a lot. Which means they are trying to tell you something about something that they are currently not doing themselves.
Or it could be the real obvious ones. The person who doesn’t have the shape, size, or physique you would ever want. Trying to tell you what you should do. Or the person who never seems to have any money, telling you what you should do with yours.
In all of the cases I mentioned above we have all been around similar scenarios. I am not saying you shouldn’t seek advice from people. I am actually telling you the opposite of that.
I am suggesting that you be careful in who you seek your advice from. For most of our lives we have been listening to the people around us. In many cases, this is a good thing.
However, when you get dissatisfied with the results you are getting in your life. Or you are inspired to make a change. You can’t seek guidance or advice from the people in your life that don’t know or understand what you are going through, much less give you any good advice on how to make it happen.
To your success and your future.