5 Things that disgust me

I don’t use this word very often, but it is such a powerful word isn’t it?

Disgust: as described on google. a feeling of revulsion or profound disapproval aroused by something unpleasant or offensive. 

Here is a basic list of things that disgust me:

Entitled:  Mark Twain said it best: “The world owes you nothing it was here first.”  I honestly can’t say it any better than that.  People that think they are entitled to a job, to a promotion, to a benefit they haven’t earned, to anything they haven’t contributed to, to a perk that was there, but no longer makes sense for the business, etc.  You add what you want here, but we are not entitled to anything.  The United States Declaration of Independence states that we all have the right to “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”, and that is all we are entitled to, at least in America.

Hardwork: Don’t think your hardwork last week, last month, or last year applies today.  You have to show up today. Don’t bring your past to the present.  Your past doesn’t tell me anything about the present.  You have to show up everyday and all day.

Change: “I haven’t done anything different really, but for some reason I am expecting a different result.”  This disgusts me more than anything.  You know why?  Because it hits me as much as it might hit someone else. At times in my life I thought if I thought about something long enough it would change, meanwhile I didn’t take the action steps necessary to cause the change to occur. How can anyone expect a different result, if they aren’t willing to make a change?

Attitude: A bad, complacent, negative, sarcastic attitude disgusts probably the most out of anything else in the world.  If you are breathing. You should be really really happy.  If you are breathing and live in America.  You should be really really really happy. If you are breathing, live in America, have a job. You should be really really really really really happy.   If you are breathing, live in America, have a job, and have your health.  I am going to end it here. You get the point.

Envy or Jealousy: I am mad at you for your success. Come on, we all know someone like this or if you are like me, maybe you have even felt like this before. Guess what?  If someone has something you want, you have the opportunity to go and get it as well. Period. We all create our own world. You can do anything you want and change anything you want today.  Do some people start out a little further? Absolutely they do. Use that as your motivation. 

I write the above hoping I may have struck a chord with someone.  Maybe I have or maybe I haven’t. I know for me, I don’t want to disgust myself, so I must keep the above in perspective so I can keep myself in check.  It is real easy to fall in the traps in any of the above areas.  My advice is: Don’t do that.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

3 Things I learned last week…3/7-13/2016

There is always someone better:  Have you ever felt like:  “I got this figured out. I am really good at this.”  Or “I have been doing this for a while, and my results speak for themselves.”   Come on you know what I mean here.  You get arrogant or to say it nicely, you get really confident.  I believe confidence is critical to anyones success.  It is an absolute.  However, whenever you get arrogant or not open-minded to learning is where the issue can arise.  Last week, I had the chance to watch someone do something that I have done myself at least a hundred times.  I felt pretty confident I did it pretty well.  However, after watching this person do the same thing, I said WOW, mine could be so much better.  Very few of us are the Michael Jordan’s of our respected fields.  Sure we are good, but if we were at the Michael Jordan status, the chances are others would know about us. So what I learned and I encourage you to think about is this. What are you really good at?  Go find at least five people who do the same thing as you and see how you rank.  Maybe you are really good, but be sure you keep an open mind to learn.

To avoid criticism: Say nothing and Do nothing.  Now, most people, including me already know this.  However, how often do we practice it?  We don’t speak up, because we think we might sound stupid?  Or we don’t step out of our comfort zone, because we are worried about what someone will say.  As I have mentioned before, the reason I write these posts and blogs is because it stimulates thoughts for me.  This week my goal is to say a lot and do a lot, both of these with purpose and mission to pursue my passions. 

Speed trumps everything: I have a joke, well I guess it isn’t really a joke, more of an observation.  And that is: Some people only have one speed.  Now some people have one speed and it is really fast.  And others have one speed and it is really slow.  The latter is what I am talking about. Years ago, one of the owners of my company said to me.  “Brian, you can tell everything you need to know about a person by looking at how fast they walk.”  “Are they slumped over just kind of moving their legs.”  “Or are they walking with their back straight and with a purpose and on a mission.” Since then I have watched that with every single person I have interviewed.  It is true in almost all of the cases.  A person that walks with a purpose and moves with a purpose, like they have somewhere to be and something to do, tends to get things done.  So when it comes to running my business, getting out of my bed in the morning, taking a shower, eating breakfast, going to my car, and doing just about anything I can think of.  I am sure to do it with a purpose.  In business and in life speed matters.  Now the haters out there are saying.  “Well, you better slow down, you’ll make more mistakes.”  Oh well, I’ll learn quicker as well. Today and everyday be sure you are moving with a purpose. When you are making a decision, be sure to do it quickly (after you thought about it enough).  Speed always wins.

To your success and your future.

 

 

3 Things I learned last week…2/29-3/6/2016

Making informed decisions: I am sure you have heard the phrase “paralysis by over analysis”.  Which means you are thinking, discussing, and analyzing a decision so much that you haven’t, won’t, or can’t make a decision.  So you are paralyzed, meaning you can’t move on, hence the word paralyzed.  So why do we do this?  I know we all want to make the right decision and some decisions need more time.  However, the thing we have to do is look at all of the current facts, and say what other facts are really necessary and should or would those facts change any of the outcomes or consequences of the decision.  The answer here is usually no.  So my advice is to ask yourself what is the big decision you are analyzing in your life right now.  What other facts do you need to help you make a decision?  And lastly, if you got those additional facts, would that impact the decision or not?  And then make your decision.  Most of our life is all about making decisions and most people would rather analyze a decision instead of making one.  So make the decision and move forward.  I did last week.

Equal by definition is not fair:  Here is a definition for equal: Having the same quantity, measure, or value as another. In the eyes of god, in the eyes of law, in the eyes of our family, in the eyes of others, we should all be equal.  So this is not me talking about your equality as a human being.  No.  What I am referring to, is equal in the marketplace.  As the definition states above.  Having the same value as another.  Well, in the marketplace we all don’t have equal value.  A CEO makes a certain amount of money because of the value they bring to their company.  You may make less than your colleague because they may have more education, more experience, or some intangible that may not show up on paper that you don’t have.  The marketplace determines values for everything we buy.  The iPhone you have in your pocket, the car you drive, the house you live in. etc. The good thing is we all have the opportunity to increase our value.  We can make a decision today to become more valuable to the marketplace. We can do this by developing more skills, pursuing further education, developing our ability to lead and influence others. If you want to become more valuable, invest in you, and you will see a return.

If I decide:  I can make anything I want to happen, happen.  Seems rather simple doesn’t it?  Sure it does.  So why is something so simple so hard?  Many people decide to lose weight, quit smoking, get out of debt, go back to school, etc. every year on January 1.  After a few weeks, statistics show that most of the people who decided to do those things are no longer pursuing them. So the statement should read like this “I have decided”.  Once you decide you must make yourself accountable to that decision. You must determine why that decision is important to you, and then lastly the action plan (the change(s)) you are going to make to ensure it happens.  Last week, I made several decisions. Some big and some small.  Some I laid the action plan out, some I didn’t.  I have already started seeing results from the decisions that I decided to pursue and made the necessary changes to do so.  However, the ones I haven’t made the changes necessary, I am about where I was. Why would I expect anything else? And why should you expect something different when you haven’t made the necessary changes?

To your success and your future.

Good Training vs. Bad Training; be wise in which one you attend

As a trainer, speaker and author for many years.  I know what good training is and what bad training is.  I have delivered both of them myself.  I apologize publicly now to those participants.  They probably know who they are.  Also, I know the difference because I have experienced both myself many many times as a participant.

So what is the difference between good training versus bad training?

I am follower of many authors and speakers.  Many of them are ones that I reference in my training courses.  They are really good at speaking and motivating or inspiring you to think differently about your situation or about what a future situation could look like.  We all need these kinds of people and events in our life.

However, we also need what I call “skill” based training.  Meaning we actually look at concepts, learn them, and then apply them in a classroom environment/training environment where a coach can provide us feedback on how we applied the new skill in an application based approach.  This is the difference between good training and bad training.

How it works: 

We all must have the right attitude when we attend a training session.  This is on you to bring it with you.  Then it is up to the trainer to deliver new knowledge.  It may not be totally new knowledge, but it is knowledge that you think you know, or you used to know, and you may not be applying it correctly, or at all at this point in time. Which is why you are in the training to begin with.  Then, once you have the new knowledge you then must apply it two different ways.

1st:  In a real situation in the classroom environment where a coach can provide you feedback on how well you did it. We call this role-playing.

2nd: You apply it in the real world (in a real life scenario at your workplace) and then you tell your coach how it worked for you.  The coach would then provide you some feedback based on how well the situation went or didn’t go.

Lastly, you now take these new skills that you are applying frequently and start to change these into a skill or habit.  All of this takes time and a coach.

Now the other necessary requirements for good training versus bad training is this.  I typically have adults in my training courses.  Adults are busy, they have children, they usually know it all already (this isn’t you is it), they have been doing their job for many years, they don’t have the time to devote to training, etc.

So what does good training need for adults to actually learn:

Adults must want to learn:  This goes back to the attitude I mentioned earlier. We make decisions for two reasons.  We are usually desperate or we are inspired.  My hope is when you attend a training session you are inspired to do so. However, if you are desperate, it works to.  I just don’t recommend waiting that long to get there.
Adults will learn only when they see how they can apply it: It must help them today.  If it isn’t going to help them today, they are most likely not going to be interested in the training.
Adults learn by doing:  As I mentioned above, good training has an application piece to it.  Where you actually apply what you just learned and then get feedback on how well you did it.
Adults have problems: We all do right (lol).  However, an adult must see a problem with what they are currently doing and they can also see how the training can solve their problems. 
Experience exists:  Adults usually bring a certain amount of experience to the table during training.  They want to see how they can use that experience and then use the new knowledge and build upon that experience to a desired solution.  Good training allows adults to do just that.
Adults learn best in an informal situation: Children have to follow a curriculum. Often, adults learn by taking responsibility by the value and need of content they require to understand and the particular goals it will achieve, being in an inviting environment and having roles as an active participant in the learning process makes it efficient. (wikipedia)
Adults want guidance: Adults want guidance on how they did and how they can do it better.  This guidance will allow them to become better at their job and provide for their family.  They want guidance on how they can apply the concepts in what they are already doing. They don’t want to be told what they have to do and they don’t want to have to use everything the exact way.  They want to be able to take what they know and the new knowledge and apply it the way they see it working.

Now is this a promotion for Dale Carnegie Training?  Maybe.  Because we do exactly what I just outlined above.  So yes it is.  However, it is how adults learn as well.  You can’t argue that.

If you are an owner, manager, leader, or an individual and are looking to enhance your skills in leadership, sales, communication, employee engagement, presenting in front of a group, customer service, etc. you name it and the chances are we can assist you.

Please reach out to me at brian.willett@dalecarnegie.com or just respond in the comments area on this post.

kentuckiana.dalecarnegie.com 

To your success and your future.

 

3 Things I learned last week…2/22-28/2016

There will always be distractions:  I am not sure about you, but for me, it is really easy to find something else to do.  You know what I mean.  On Saturdays, instead of cleaning the house, I have to run errands instead.  On some mornings, instead of reading at least one chapter, I must read the emails from yesterday afternoon or the ones that came through the night.  On payday, instead of sending more money towards my mortgage, I really need a new dress shirt, or to go out for a friend’s birthday party. Maybe you have found yourself in one of the above aforementioned scenarios.  I have found that distractions from what I should do will always be there.  In most cases, like 99% of them, I don’t even have to look very hard, they will just show up.  What is distracting you from doing what you need to be doing?

Paying for it everyday: I have been doing this set of exercises now for about six months or so.  It is a quasi-crossfit workout. It is basically a 25-30 minute cycle that consists of five actual workouts that include sit-ups, squats, kettle bell swings, burpees and a few other exercises. I typically do fifty of one of the activities and then I do rowing, running, or something called Jacobs Ladder in between the sets of the other exercises.  It gets my heart rate really high and at the end of the session I am thoroughly exhausted.  There are some days I can do the session pretty easily.  But most days, the session is killer.  I consider myself to be pretty fit and in shape.  But this workout is really hard and it seems to never get easier.  And even if it seems easier, I still have to do it frequently, because if I don’t do it for a few days it is even harder when I do it the next time.  Like most things in life.  You have to show up every single day.  You have to work hard every day. You have to be trustworthy everyday.  You have to do most things everyday to become good at it.  Don’t show up for work for a few days in a row and see if they still pay you.  The same things apply in life. Everything requires you to show up everyday.  You can never get where you want to go without showing up everyday and paying for it everyday.

Everybody has the opportunity: I have found that in most things in work and in life, in general, we all have equal opportunity.  Sure, are some people set up better from the onset.  Absolutely, but in general for most of the things in life we all have the same opportunity.  For example: We both have equal opportunity on the job to show up everyday and do the best we can.  We both have equal opportunity to invest in our 401K.  We both have equal opportunity to take advantage of the additional training that is offered.  We both have equal opportunity to have the right attitudes towards policies and procedures. We both have equal opportunity to work overtime.  We both have equal opportunity to stay late or show up early and do the extra work to see a project through.  Even though we all have equal opportunity to do the above, how many actual do it?  That is usually the difference.  We all have equal opportunity, but not everyone takes advantage of the opportunity. And that is what separates all of us in just about everything in America.

To your success and your future.