Why Power only exists in Truth

I am sure you have talked to someone before about a job, a relationship, or some other situation, where that person was receiving less than they deserve.  And what that usually means is that you, as their friend, colleague, or family member, believe that they are doing more and giving more to that relationship, job, etc., than the other party is giving.

But what if that wasn’t true.  What if there was more that the person could give.  What if this person was you and not someone else that was feeling this way. And you kept telling yourself that you are giving everything and not getting anything in return.  You are not getting what you deserve.

Everyday I work and see people that feel this way.  They believe that they are owed more. They believe that they deserve more.  They believe that they have done everything that they could do to improve their situation, but none of it has worked.  The relationship is still bad.  The pay on the job still sucks.  They didn’t receive the promotion.  They didn’t get the next assignment.

If you feel this way, or no someone who does.  I want to share this with you, because someone shared it with me, and it changed my life.  First of all, the market pays for the value that you or someone else brings to it.

My mentor told me this story once about how he went to his mentor and told him that the job wasn’t paying enough.  His mentor asked him this “Are there other people at your place of employment who make more money than you do?”  The answer was yes from my mentor.  Than his mentor shared these very remarkable words with him.

He said “Than it isn’t the company, it is the value you are bringing to the company. If you want to change your pay, you have to increase your value.”

The only way any of us can get paid more on the job, is to increase the value we bring to the job.  If you are a manager and you can manage a group of six or seven people to perform a job.  The company will pay you more.  If you can learn how to manage six or seven managers, which is a different skillset, than they will pay you even more money.

If you are a customer service representative and you are really good at taking calls on problems and solving those problems. The company will pay you a certain dollar amount for that.  But if you can not only take those calls, but you can train other people on how to do it as well, they will pay you more money.

Most companies have more money that they can pay you.  However, you just have to figure out a way to show them that you are worth more than what they are paying you.  Most people spend their time complaining about what they deserve instead of showing how they are worth more.  Stop talking and start showing.

One of the things most of us are in dire need of in our lives, is someone who can speak truth in to us.  Tell us something that we don’t really want to hear.  You may have heard the old saying that there is “Power in Truth”.  Why do you think that saying exists?

Because, until you hear the truth, you don’t have the power to change anything.  If you want to change your situation, you have to first understand your reality and the truth of where you really are.  Finding someone to give you this truth is very hard.  It usually requires someone who isn’t associated with you in any way to come in to your life and  help you assess where you are and then provide you the truth.

If you want to get to a different place, you have to understand where you are.  Not just your belief on where you are, but the actual truth on where you are.  Most of us don’t have the people in our lives that can or will provide us this truth.

If you are a person who wants truth and wants more than you currently have, than I would encourage you to reach out to me, and if it isn’t me, than someone else that can provide you the truth you need to hear.

email me at bwillett555@gmail.com for more insight and possibly partnering together.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

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Implementing this one activity every other day has been a game changer for my life.

There are certain things in life that all of us must do every single day.  Things like brush our teeth, eat, drink water, and… If you have children you have to make sure they do these same things everyday as well.

Now you could say that you have to go to work every single day, but that isn’t true.  Most of us have weekends off.  And if you don’t, you probably have vacation time. So what are the things we have to do every single day?  There probably aren’t very many things we must do every single day unless we choose to do it.

About a year and a half ago, I learned from one of my mentors to do this one thing every single day.  And it has been a game changer for me. My mentor said that I should write down my 10-15 biggest goals every single day.  Yes.  He said I should do this every single day.  He said he does it as soon as he wakes up and he does it again before he goes to bed.

Maybe he does or maybe he doesn’t.  He is wildly successful, so I am not going to question him. I like to try to do what really successful people do, so I gave it a shot.

First of all, for me, I have found that I don’t do it every day.  Hence why the title of the blog isn’t, “Implementing this one activity everyday has been a game changer for my life.”

There is really no reason why I can’t, but looking in my journal over the last year, I just didn’t.  I just looked at my journal and I counted 298 days that I wrote down my goals.  Not bad, but I could do better. Again, doing anything for 365 days a year is hard.  I can do better though.

I have been a very aggressive goal setter for the last ten or so years of my life.  I have accomplished so many things that I would have never dreamed of accomplishing, just because I wrote it down and made a plan to accomplish it.  I consider myself to be in the top one percent of goal setters and goal accomplishers.  This consideration is purely from my observations of hundreds, if not thousands of people, that I interact with in my business who don’t set goals. It is not a common thing.

All of this to say, that I know a lot about goal setting and I have helped a lot of people accomplish more in their life by becoming better goal setters.

So when my mentor told me to write down my goals every single day, I thought that this was a silly idea.  I said how will this help me.  I am already doing a really good job at setting and accomplishing goals.  I have a document that I write down all of my current year goals on, and included on that document is some long-range goals as well.  They all kind of go together.

But because of his challenge to me, I decided to take on this challenge of writing them down every day.  And in my case, I did it the last 298 days of my life. I didn’t write down every single goal.  I just wrote down the 10 to 15 bigger goals that I have in my life.

For example:  I turn forty next year.  I am not worried about the forty number, but one of my goals is to be in the best shape of my life, backed up with test results, when I turn forty next year. That is one of the goals I have written down the last 298 days of my life.

Another one is “I own 100 paid for rental properties”.  Yes a big goal.  I currently have five.

What I have learned from writing these goals down for the last 298 days, is that they are always in my head, they never leave.  I am reminding myself about them every day. This has helped me put in place certain habits and other things that are helping me work toward these goals.  Id dint have this before.  This has been really beneficial for me to doing what I need to do, every day to get closer to accomplishing the goals.

Most people never accomplish much because they never commit to accomplishing anything. That is why writing down your goals is co critical. But I have learned that writing them down every single day reminds me to do the things that I need to do so I can accomplish the goals.

This is not a to do list.  This is a reminder of the bigger things you want in your life. These are the big goals.  These bigger goals is where you get your motivation.

I can’t get too excited about running six miles a day, but I can get excited and motivated about being in the best shape of my life at the age of forty.

It is hard to get excited about making another sales call, or taking on a client that I know will be a pain in the ass.  But I know that I have to do it, to generate the money so I can get to my 100 rental properties.

These 10 or 15 goals set your task list for the day automatically.  The only difference is, the task list isn’t that exciting, but the goals list is.

As you can tell, I have some room for improvement in this area as well, but I want to challenge you to try this.  I consider myself to be a pretty self motivated person, but after doing this the last 298 days, I am even more motivated and committed to my goals and to my success and this has pushed me to do even more every day to get closer to accomplishing them.

If you want more information about my process, email me at bwillett555@gmail.com

To your success and your future.

Check out this blog for more information about the value of writing down your goals.

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The secret to accomplishing everything you have ever wanted is here.

Perhaps by now you have heard about the research study that was conducted at Harvard or Yale University on written goals?  You know the one.  Where so many people of a certain graduating class had written goals, and a certain percentage of the class didn’t have any written goals.  And after several years, they followed back up with those graduates to see what they had achieved.

What they found was that the 3% of students who had written goals, clearly defined, accomplished 10 times more than the students who didn’t have written goals.

Well, just so you know, that research was never substantiated.  Because it never existed.

As a person who has studied goals and speaks on goals a lot to others. I have to admit, I had actually referenced this fictional research myself.

Luckily, a professor of Research by Dominican University of California psychology, Dr. Gail Matthews actually conducted some research that supported this urban legend.

A total of 267 participants were recruited from businesses, organizations, and business networking groups. However, only 149 participants completed the study. The final participants ranged in age from 23 to 72, with 37 males and 112 females.

Participants came from the United States, Belgium, England, India, Australia and Japan and included a variety of entrepreneurs, educators, healthcare professionals, artists, attorneys, bankers, marketers, human services providers, managers, vice presidents, directors of non-profits, etc.

Participants were randomly assigned to one of 5 conditions (groups):

  • Group 1- Unwritten Goal;
  • Group 2- Written Goal;
  • Group 3- Written Goal & Action Commitments;
  • Group 4- Written Goal, Action Commitments to a Friend;
  • Group 5- Written Goal, Action Commitments & Progress Reports to a Friend.

Participants in Group 1 were simply asked to think about their goals (what they wanted to accomplish over the next 4 weeks) and then asked to rate that goal on the following dimensions: Difficulty, Importance, the extent to which they had the Skills & Resources to accomplish the goal, their Commitment and Motivation to the goal, whether or not they had Pursued this goal before and if so their Prior Success.

Participants in Groups 2-5 were asked to write (type into the online survey) their goals and then to rate their goals on the same dimensions.

Group 3 was also asked to formulate action commitments.

Group 4 was asked to formulate action commitments and send their goals and action commitments to a supportive friend.

Group 5 was asked to formulate action commitments and send their goals, action commitments and weekly progress reports to a supportive friend.

At the end of four weeks the participant were asked to rate their performance.

The results showed:

Types of goals: Participants pursued a variety of goals (in order of frequency reported) completing a project, increasing income, increasing productivity, getting organized, enhancing performance/achievement, enhancing life balance, reducing work anxiety and learning a new skill. Examples of “completing a project” included writing a chapter of a book, updating a website, listing and selling a house, completing a strategic plan, securing a contract, hiring employees and preventing a hostile take-over.

Which Group achieved the most?  Group 5 achieved significantly more than all the other groups; Group 4 achieved significantly more than Groups 3 and 1; Group 2 achieved significantly more than Group 1.

76% of the participants in group 5 achieved their stated goals and only 43% of the participants in Group 1.

And groups 2-5 had a 50% higher chance of accomplishing their stated goals than did group 1.

So what do you need to do to achieve more in your life?  Very simply, do what the participants did in Group 5.  Write down your goals, and create an accountability system with someone other than yourself.

If you want to learn more about how to do this.  Please contact me at bwillett555@gmail.com

To your success and your future.

Pieces of this blog pulled from this link 

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A new season

Over 100 million people watched the Super Bowl this past Sunday.  The New England Patriots were the heavy favorite and rightfully so going into the game.  But, unless you have been hiding the last seventy-two hours you know that they didn’t win. They were beaten by the underdog, the Philadelphia Eagles.

Now, I am not a NFL Football expert. However, the New England Patriots are considered to be one of the best teams ever, because of their long time coach Bill Belichick and their quarterback Tom Brady.  There has been a lot of speculation on whether they both will return next year to play and coach another year.  Or will they retire.  I believe all of the experts agree that Tom Brady will most likely be back in uniform next year, but most of them are unsure about whether or not Bill Belichick will be back as the head coach.

Regardless if they retire or not, they both have now moved on from the last season.  Last season ended on Sunday night after losing the Super Bowl.  For the last nineteen years,  with their eight Super Bowl appearances, five Super Bowl wins, and the countless other victories and accomplishments.  They both know that for them to have that sustained success, that they can’t dwell in the past too long, and they must move on to the next season and start preparing for the next season.

The sad part about a season ending is the fact that all of the hard work, sacrifice, and wins don’t carry any weight into the new season.  Well, at least not the victories.  For them to have success in the next season, they have to do it all over again.  They have to prepare, they have to be disciplined, and they have to sacrifice all over again.  And they have to start all over at Zero Wins and Zero Losses.

Even though starting fresh and new can be challenging and daunting, when you think about it.  It can also be exciting and exhilarating.  The fact that you get to start all over, in many cases with new team mates and new opponents.  They both will be another year wiser and more experienced.

In the NFL they have no choice.  A season only lasts so long.  I know the regular season is seventeen weeks, and when you include the playoffs, I believe the entire season, including the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl, it is like twenty-three weeks.  The season has an end date.  Once it is over, it’s over.

Life for the rest of us is different.  It doesn’t necessarily have end dates for our seasons.  It isn’t that definitive.   Now, there may be a season where you work someone where for a period of time and then decide to move on to another employer.  Or there may be a season where you are living your life a certain way, like maybe when you were single or in your twenties.  Or you may be in a relationship with a person for a period of time, and then that relationship ends.  All of these situations could have been a season for you.

But in most cases, our lives are not that seasonal and defined with a begin date and end date.  When we need to be our best and when we can slack off some.  Nope instead we are left to ourselves to determine when a season begins and when a season should end. And from my experience there have been many times where I may have stayed within a season too long.

Here is my challenge for you.  Do you know what season you are in?  Have you been in your current season too long?  Maybe you have been complaining about this job for the last several years, but you haven’t taken the next steps to move on.

Maybe you have been in that relationship that isn’t going anywhere too long.  You just keep breaking up and getting back together.  Or maybe you have been together, but the relationship is not growing.  Maybe you have been thinking about going back to school, but you just haven’t pulled the trigger.

Regardless of where you are in life right now, it isn’t always going to be that way.  But you have the ability and the right to make it whatever you want.  You just have to decide to make a change and start a new season for your life.

Tom Brady , Bill Belichick, and the New England Patriots season ended on Sunday.  But they know the next one starts soon and they are already preparing for it.  In your case, you have to decide when your next season will start?  Are you ready for it?  Or are you going to ride this season out to the end?

To your success and your future.

 

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New Year. New You. Or have you already quit?

New Year. New You.  Does this sound like you?  Hey, I hope so.  I think the beginning of the year is as good as any to start a new thing.  Whether it is your health, your money, a bad habit you want to quit, or anything else.

But do you want to know what is even better than a new start or a fresh start?  To never quit in the first place.

I have been looking at my Facebook feed since the beginning of 2018.  Which is exactly 31 days ago from the time I am writing this blog.  Today is February 1, 2018.  I see a lot of people on there pursuing these new things, and many of them said the same thing last year.  And most of them quit by this time last year, and many quit before the end of the year on whatever it was they were doing. They are now attempting it again.  I am proud of you.  Stay with it this time.

Hey, I have been there before.  I am no different from anyone else.  Working out is a discipline that I just do.  I don’t have to think about it. I just do it.  I have been doing it for so long that it is just past of who am I.

However, where my opportunity for a fresh start exists. Is eating better. Just like many of the people in my Facebook feed, I have made some changes to my diet this year.  When I was younger, I always thought I could just exercise my way through a bad diet.  And what I have found the older I have gotten, that this has become increasingly more difficult.  So I had to make a fresh start as well.

In this blog I want to suggest a few ideas that can keep you consistent versus always having to start over.

A new year is a great place to start a new thing.  However, it doesn’t only have to be at the beginning of a New Year though.  In Daniel Pinks new book “When: The Scientific Secrets to Perfect Timing” He actually provides a list of 86 different days, dates, events, etc. that could be a great time for you to make a fresh start.  The first year being one of them and here are just a few more from his book:

  • First day of the month
  • Mondays (52)
  • Seasons (4)
  • Your birthday
  • Your anniversary of whatever
  • First day back from vacation
  • A Holiday

His goal was to get us thinking about the different days that we could use other than the first of the year to provide us a fresh start.

If you made a commitment on January 1, 2018, and have already quit, today would be a great day to start over again. You don’t have to wait until next year.  The first of the month is as good or better day to start than others.

Here is the good news.  If you are someone who quits and has had to start again.  Don’t wait until another year goes by before you start again.  Use another date and start your commitment from that date.   Today would be a good day to do that.

How else can you keep going?  As a runner, I have had a few injuries along the way. And I am the opposite of my most people.  If I don’t workout or exercise, I get very irritable, because it is breaking my routine. And I hate to break my routine. Over the years, as I have had these injuries, I would just have to modify my workouts. If my leg or calf is bothering me, then I would just do an upper body workout.  If my upper body is sore, maybe I just do a leg workout or run.

The key is to not stop.  But you may have to make adjustments and modify. What is it that you are trying to accomplish?  If you have already quit.  Why did you quit?  Were you trying to go all-in too fast?  If that is the case, don’t quit, make adjustments.

I had someone tell me one time, that you only have to get in shape once.  And that is the hard part. Once you do, then you just have to maintain it. Since then, I have never quit. Are there times where I more focused and disciplined than others?  Absolutely, but I never quit and that is the key to success when it comes to health and fitness and most anything else in life.

Another way to keep your commitment and not quit.  Is to remember why you wanted this in the first place.  And when I say remember it, I highly demand that you write it down.  By writing it down you put it to memory.

If you want to become healthier?  Why?  Is it because you want to look good in a bikini or without a shirt on if you are a guy.  If it is to quit spending so much.  Why is this so important to you?  Is it because you want to have a more secure future?  Is your job situation uncertain?  Or is it because you hate your job and you need to be prepared for an exit?

I have written about goals a lot here.  And if you are interested in taking your goal setting and goal accomplishing to the next level, then I would encourage you to reach out to me.  I have some resources that could be beneficial to you.

But I want you to do this one thing to increase the likelihood that you don’t have to start all over again.  And that is write down your goal, why that goal is important to you, and when you will accomplish it by.  Once you do this, you will be well on your way to accomplishing the things you want to accomplish.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

 

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The two best measurements on determining what you think is important

Years ago when I was single I would eat out a lot, even more so than I do as a married man now, I think. Ha Ha.  I can remember one year I was looking at my bank account online.

My bank had one of those software systems that put all of my spending into categories, and it gave me a pie chart of how and where I spent my money. Under the food category it would actually break down by name the different restaurants where I spent my money.

I can remember looking at this chart and thinking to myself. WOW.  I spent a lot of money at this restaurant, and that restaurant, they should be giving me so free food. I did say that in my head, but what I really thought was, Oh my God, I can’t believe how much money I am spending just to eat out and then basically flush that money down the toilet, if you know what I mean.

At the point I made the decision to change my eating habits and only eat out a few times a month. At this time, I was in the process of making some investments and doing some other things that I needed to do to secure a better future for myself. I made those changes and about a year later, I was significantly better off.  That one little change in habit and discipline allowed me to make others changes as well.  These changes allowed me to have some success in several areas of my life.

This one little measurement in my life had high gains for me.  By looking at my spending habits I could easily tell what it was that I valued.  And that was work, because I didn’t have time to cook.  Or at least that is what I told myself. And I enjoyed not having to cook. And my thinking in my head at that time was “I had the money to spend”, so why shouldn’t I do it?

I tell everyone today that if I look at your bank account and your transactions I can learn really quickly what it is you value and think is important.   And these important things could be good for you or bad for you, I don’t know.  The bottom line is, you and I both, spend our money on things we think are important.

The other area of people’s life that I can look at and take a measurement of, and know what it is they find important.  Is where they spend their time, inevitably I have people tell me all of the time in my workshops that they put their family above everything else as the most important, and the time they spend with them is sacred.

Then I ask them to complete a timelog (which is a log that you put what you do each day down on paper to the quarter-hour of every hour).  Now, most people never want to be totally honest with themselves and put exactly how, and how much time, they spend on certain things.  But those who do, can really learn a lot from this exercise.

What people typically find out is that they waste more time than they thought they did.  They also learn that what they say is most important, doesn’t always measure out to be as important. At least the amount of time, if any, given to that activity.

Are you willing to do an inventory of yourself or your household? Are you willing to look at these two measurements in your life and see if you are spending too much, or too little time and money in these areas?  Most people aren’t willing to be this critical with themselves, but you are different if you have read this far.

Take a look at how you spend your money.  What trends do you see?  Good or bad.  If you are interested in tracking your time on a timelog, reach out to me at bwillett555@gmail.com and I will give you the timelog sheet for free. Just shoot me an email with the subject line TimeLog and in the email put your email address.

Before you can decide where you want to go, you have to first know where you are.  You can do this by measuring these two areas of your life.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

 

 

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Personal responsibility. What happened to it?

Most of the time, I am writing about things that are on my mind at the moment. And after this weekend, the one thing that is on my mind, are the words Personal Responsibility.  I think the reason those words and what it means, is on my mind, because I just feel like there is a lack of it at every turn right now.

So what does Personal Responsibility mean?  If you google search the words, which I did. Four hundred and ninety-one million results will be returned.  But the first one provided by wikiquote, which I like.  Says this: It is the idea that human beings choose, instigate, or otherwise cause their own actions. A corollary idea is that because we cause our actions, we can be held morally accountable or legally liable.

If you are a believer in Personal Responsibility than you would agree that we as individuals choose what happens to us and not are circumstances, and we are not bystanders in our own lives. You either believe this or you don’t.

I think the word instigate is probably the one word that sticks out to me the most in the definition of personal responsibility.  I looked up that word as well.  By the way.  Most people don’t look up words anymore.  I know I didn’t until I became a writer and because of that I didn’t want to rely on my memory or what I thought a word meant until I looked it up. I would encourage you to look up words more, because you may not truly understand what the word means, but I digress.

Instigate means; to urge or provoke a certain action to occur. Meaning you personally did something that caused this action.  You may not have intended to do it, but because you took an action a result occurred.

Back to the word or idea of Personal Responsibility.  If you honestly believe this, you ether believe it or you don’t.  You can’t be half way into Personal Responsibility.  You either believe that individuals control their own destiny or they don’t.  You either believe that we all have the same opportunity because of our abilities, skills, and talents or you don’t.  You can’t believe that we have the ability to control this thing, but not this thing. You have to be all in or not.

Years ago, I was in a work situation that wasn’t ideal.  I wasn’t getting along with a few key people who I needed to get a long with.  I felt like they were assholes, didn’t listen, and only cared about what it was they were looking to do.  And they felt the same way about me. I whined about it constantly and ultimately interviewed and received job offers to leave that company and that situation.

I didn’t leave the company.  I ended up staying.  But I chose to take a different approach.  I changed my attitude, I changed the way I conducted business, and ultimately those relationships changed and I ended up becoming most of their bosses. In all of this, the one thing that I could control was me.  And that is what I did.

You could make the argument that I was at a disadvantage because of the people I was working with.  Most of them had more years of experience within that company and more experience in that industry. I could say that everyone was taking their side because of these conditions.  And I did make that argument at first, until I made the decision to change.

One of my favorite stories my mentor has shared with me over and over makes this point as well.  He tells the story that he was at a point in his life, where he needed to make more money and was complaining to his mentor about how much his company was paying him.

My mentor said that he told his mentor that he would be doing better financially and otherwise, if his company paid more.  His mentor replied and said.  “Are there other people in your company that get paid more than you do?”

My mentor replied to his with a “yes.” His mentor then told him that it wasn’t the company then, it must be him. He also said “What was it that he was not doing or doing that was preventing him from making more?”

My mentor took personal responsibility and changed his life for the better and now has impacted millions of others because of this one step in taking personal responsibility.

In today’s society everyone is looking to blame other people, companies, social media, parents, schools, etc. for the reasons they are where they are, or do what they do. If you believe in Personal Responsibility than you would also believe that we all have equal opportunity to have the life we want.

Culturally nowadays, people are given a pass on personal responsibility before they even had a chance to have it.  A few examples of this is in our school systems.  They say, because a person comes from a certain socioeconomic background that they are not able to perform at the same standards as others. It is a really sad state of affairs that we give a pass, and this by itself creates a lower ceiling and keeps these individuals from every reaching their full potential because they have never had to.

As I look back over my life. I went to the worst schools in the city and county I grew up in. My parents combined probably never made more than thirty or forty thousand dollars to support a family of five people.  I allowed these conditions to define who I was, early on into my adult life.

I said this is who I am, this is what I do.  I believed that I didn’t have the same opportunities because of who and where I came from.  When I made the change in my mind, to go out a do better for myself, I had a lot of opportunities present themselves to me. But I had to take Personal Responsibility.

Where in your life have you lacked Personal Responsibility? What areas in your life should you take more accountability for?  Are you enabling others to not realize their full potential, because you are not allowing them to take Personal Responsibility?

I would be curious to hear your thoughts on these questions.  Please share your thoughts in comments.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

 

 

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I can’t even argue about this…. anymore.

Like most of you, I have found myself, even more so recently, in very strong disagreements  with regards to politics.  And through these disagreements I have discovered a few things, but none as important as this one thing…

I cannot argue with someone who sees things totally opposite of the way I see it. And in many cases those individuals refuse to see the other side of an opinion because of their dislike of one politician or the other.  We will just agree to disagree and I can love those individuals for who they are.

To take it step further on one example where I have recently had this disagreement, which prompted this writing. Was on the topic of the bonuses that a lot of companies are paying their employees because of the recent tax cuts.

I personally believe that this is a very good thing. From everything I can tell, these businesses were not going to pay these bonuses out to their employees otherwise. Additionally, whether the tax cuts prompted them to do it or not.  The fact remains, employees of many organizations received additional compensation that they weren’t going to get before, because of the change in the tax structure.

Now, I see this as a very positive thing.  Since I am in business, I share a lot of business related articles and headlines frequently across my social media channels.  And I had someone who wanted to turn this positive situation into a negative one.

I believe their comment was something like this, I am paraphrasing, but this is the gist.

“Big deal, these billion dollar corporations, are giving a few thousand dollars away, this is nothing to these companies to give this money away.”  Basically they believe that this is some kind of publicity stunt, and secondly, that a few thousand dollars is not that much money to the company’s bottom line over all.  They had the money in the first place is their belief.

Two problems I have with this statement which prompted me to write this blog.

First:  These companies didn’t owe these employees this money. These employees made a decision to work for these companies at whatever wage they work at.  If they didn’t like what they were earning they wouldn’t be there.  Or they shouldn’t be there. So the fact that the company decides, because of economic conditions, we are going to give you more money. This is a positive thing.  I don’t know how in the hell anyone could see it any other way, unless you are just completely out of touch.

Secondly: The amount of money.  The amount of money shouldn’t matter either.  Anything more than zero should be considered a nice gesture. Period. Again, these companies were already in an agreement with these individuals. Now, the company was changing the game on them in a way that benefits the employees.  They should be happy about that.  And I am sure most were and most people would be.  Except for the people who are always thinking they deserve more.

And that brings me to my final point and why I can’t even argue anymore about these kinds of things.  Here is the fundamental issue. I grew up in a family of five where our household income growing up may have been $30-40K.  To some that is a lot.  But it didn’t feel like we had a lot. I chose to go to college and educate myself, and then after college I continued to educate myself. This has afforded me the ability to earn more than my parents could have ever dreamed of earning.  And they are both proud of me for it.

But I cannot argue with someone who fundamentally believes that just because one person, or one company, has accumulated more money and resources because of their hard work, diligence, and discipline.  That they should be required to share those resources and that money with others.  Or, to take it a step further and get really political, that because of their success that they should be required to give more of it to the people who haven’t had the same level of success. And honestly they do share in both of these scenarios, because of the taxes they do pay, but that is besides the point.

And sadly enough in this argument/discussion we are actually talking about a company who chose to share their resources voluntarily, but that still wasn’t enough.

I am sure I will find myself in future discussions about these topics.  Instead of getting upset and trying to prove my point.  I will just remind myself that I need to love these individuals for who they are.  And also remind myself that I cannot change a persons mind or opinion, who fundamentally believes something so opposite of my beliefs.  I will be respectful of their opinions and listen, but I will not waste my time to try and convince them.

To your success and your future.

 

 

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Bring on the criticism. I need it and so do you.

Are you open to criticism?  If you are like most people, the answer would be no. You might say you are, but who really likes it?

We all need to criticism in our life to have success. Without it, we wouldn’t know what is resonating or not resonating with people. We wouldn’t know what works or doesn’t work.  We wouldn’t know how to adapt and evolve.

Nothing of value in life, and especially the first versions of something, are never that good.  They are only as good as they can be, based on what we know at that time.  What version of iPhone are you currently using?  What version of your Android phone are you currently using?  Well, if you are using an Android, I am sorry.  But I have an iPhone 7 that is running I think, version 11.1 ios.

In Silicon Valley, where a lot of software, social media channels, and other technologies that many of us use on a daily basis is created.  They have a philosophy they live by.  That is, they want to get the software, the social media channel, etc. to a point where they can release it to the market as quickly as possible.

They know the sooner they get it to the market, the quicker they can get feedback on it and start to make the necessary changes to make the product even better. They know when they release the product that it isn’t finished.  But they also know that as soon as they do, they will get the critiques they need to make the tweaks, and make more tweaks, to continue to evolve the product and make it better.

So I come back my question at the beginning.  Do you like criticism?  Or do you do everything you can to avoid it?  If you aren’t getting criticized, the chances are you are going with the flow. And let’s be honest, the flow is usually not that great. The flow usually has status quo ideas, with stagnant bank accounts, and stagnant careers, and stagnant family lives, and the flow wouldn’t be able to identify an opportunity if it hit them.

I know if you are reading my blog, then this is not you.  You want to have more in all aspects of your life.  You are willing to go against the crowd regardless of what every one else is saying. You are willing to state your opinion, even when it is opposite of the masses.  You are willing to do the hard things to get the things you want and your family wants.

If you are in leadership and you are afraid of criticism, then my guess is your team is today where you were yesterday and last year.  And most likely they will be at the same point a year from now. When you start to do things different and push new initiatives you are going to get criticism.

Here is the one thing I have learned in my life.  I have not, and am not currently, getting enough criticism in all areas of my life.  I am not stepping outside of my own comfort zone enough, which means I am not stepping out of the comfort zones of everyone that I know enough.

Whether we want to admit it or not. We are and become the people who we spend the most time with.  If you are overweight and don’t live a healthy lifestyle.  Then there is a 99% chance that the people you spend most of your time with are the same way.  If the people you spend 99% of your time with are in debt and are constantly negative, then the chances are very likely that you are in debt and constantly negative as well.

One of my mentor says this.  When you start doing something different from everyone else.  The first thing they do is laugh at you.  The second thing they will do is criticize you. Then the last thing they will do is admire you.  You cant skip to the third thing first.  You have to go through the first two steps.

Are you willing to do that?  I am.

To your success and your future.

 

 

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“The truth will set you free” as soon as you stop crying about it

Several years ago I was in a company where I had just been promoted to a director level position.  I had worked for the company for a several years and I was known as a hard worker and a forward thinker. At the time the company was in culture shift.  We had several new senior leaders that had come in from other companies, as well as people internally who had been promoted who thought differently. These two groups of new leaders were there to help transform the company.  At that time is was needed desperately.  Results had become stagnant and the culture was a mess to say the least.

My current supervisor at that time became a good friend of mine, and even during this growth phase we worked closely together and we learned a lot along the way.

Both mine, and my supervisors boss, who was a vice president and reported to the owners of the company, was a friend as well.  Several times a year the vice president had meetings with all of the directors within the organization.  We would all meet and go over the objectives and different strategies we were using in our divisions to get better results. You could say it was like a brainstorm session a lot of times.

Since, I am a new director and I am now attending these meetings, I made it a point to make sure my voice was heard.  Again, at this time, it was in my DNA to be this way.  I was aggressive, I was opinionated (meaning I had some suggestions), and I wanted to be the first to state my opinions. Again, this is what landed me in those meetings in the first place in my mind.

I am not quite sure how many meetings I participated in before this meeting with my boss occurred, but I can remember this meeting with my boss.

My boss sat me down and gave me some feedback.  It is probably one of the best pieces of advice I have received when it comes to navigating and managing political issues within the workplace.  Which up until that time I never even considered.

He said that some of my peers, as well as some of the other people in the organization feel like I am a “bulldozer”.  Which  means I am very aggressive in how I talk with my colleagues and how in meetings I want to be first to say what is on my mind, and that I don’t listen to others very well.

At the time, this feedback hit me really hard.  Again, this is who I am in.  This is what I do. I am aggressive, I want to get business done as quickly as possible.  I don’t want to over think anything. But this feedback he gave me was coming from several sources, even the owners of our company’s daughter who worked in the business as well.

After I got over the initial shock of this feedback, and I stated my thoughts on the situation.  Which means, I said they are just mad they are not like me.  They are passive, they don’t have good suggestions, and why aren’t they aggressive about what it is they think and want to do instead of criticizing me for what I do.

Once I got that off my chest.  The two of us talked and he provided me some suggestions on what it was I could do to help manage these perceptions. I ultimately did what he said, and I was promoted to the highest level in the company in my position, which means I was promoted over all of those people who had those opinions.

The reason I was able to win in the end, was because my boss at that time.  My mentor, provided me the feedback and the truth that I needed.  Sure, what I was doing was good for business, but we have to think about the people involved in the business as well…the people we have to work with on a daily basis.

If it wasn’t for that feedback at that time, I know for a fact I would have never been promoted, because I would had never changed.  So all of those people probably would have complained so much that my boss and his boss would had eventually fired me (maybe), but I know for sure I could have never been promoted to the level I was, because all of those people would have had a mutiny.

My boss at the time knew that the feedback he was giving me was going to be hard for me to swallow at first.  Because he knew the things everyone was complaining about is why he had promoted me in the first place.  But he also knew that if I didn’t fix those things I would never last in that position.  He cared enough about me and my career to tell me the hard things that would help me grow and develop.  And it did.

In todays culture, we need more of this direct truth and feedback in business as well as in our society as whole. Unfortunately, even when the people do get it, they respond like I did, and in many cases they don’t grow from it. I whined and cried and blamed at first, but then I used it as the opportunity to grow and learn from it.

Also, I didn’t blame the messenger, ever. It wasn’t his fault that people felt the way they did.  He didn’t create this issue.  But he was being a great leader and fixing it.  Because that is what leaders do.  They say the hard stuff, the stuff nobody wants to hear.  They do the things that have been neglected in doing for years and years.

So when this “real” leader shows up, the long history of avoidance and outright negligence, on major issues are finally being dealt with, people are even more entrenched and worried about how and what they are doing, versus the fact that they are finally doing something about it.

In my case, I ended up taking the truth and turning it into an advantage for me, and I ultimately won.  In today’s society, we need to hear the truth, no matter how hard and direct it is, so we can take it, learn from it, and improve things from it. The truth will set your free, if you listen to it.

The alternative to the truth is someone who never tells you anything and you end up some place you never wanted to be.  In my case it could have been losing my job, which wouldn’t have ended my life, but it would have sucked at that time.

If we don’t get the truth on some of the major issues affecting our society has a whole, there could be some big implications from this in our future. I am thankful that we have truth tellers in politics now, versus, liars, who either think you are too dumb to know everything and they never tell you, or instead just do things that they believe is best for your future.

Don’t kill the messenger, instead, listen to them, and hopefully we can fix the problem.

To your success and your future.

 

 

 

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